I do. I want a baby. We’ve had them named since before we were married – Noah Kettler, Josiah Song and Lucy Hope. Somedays they feel completely real. Noah (at least in our heads) is our rambunctious boy who will give me a heart attack with all his courage. Josiah will be my snuggler and dreamer much like his daddy. And Lucy…she’ll be our brown baby rescued from the poverty of India.
If Adam and I were living anything close to what most people would consider a “normal” life, we would be trying to get pregnant right now. We’ve been married for two years and baby fever has set in hard. But “normal” life is not in the cards for us. In just five months we’ll be boarding a plane to transplant our lives into a foreign country. There will be months (more like years) of language learning, adjusting to a completely different culture, believing and strategizing alongside local believers for a movement of house churches to erupt in the villages and a long list of much much more! And in order to transition well to life overseas, we heard the Lord asking us to wait on starting a family. “Do one transition at a time.”
Let me first give a couple disclaimers:
1. I think it’s legit to be a little annoyed if you’re one of the only single girls in your group of friends. I have plenty of single girl friends who I would do anything for to see them get engaged!
2. I know this picture is about marriage and not a baby…but the same principle applies.
This picture got me thinking about when Adam and I were engaged. I watched a number of my friends get engaged and married before we walked down the aisle. It was incredibly difficult to be patient and trust we had heard the Lord correctly about the date of our wedding. When the beautiful day finally arrived, it was a more glorious celebration than I could have ever dreamt of! Soon after we got married I was warned by a dear friend that “baby fever” would soon set in. I had no idea how right she was! I now find myself in the same position as I was when we were engaged – watching my friends have babies while Jesus is asking me to wait.
As I was cooking our dinner last night, I felt Jesus speak – “Be happy with the story I’m writing for you.”
Be happy with what was outlined before the beginning of time for your days. Be happy with the intricate story He wrote for today…for this minute you’re living right now. Stop looking to others wishing your story looked more like theirs. Dream and be excited about what is to come, but don’t let that distract you from drinking in the minutes that are whizzing past you right now.
I still want a baby. And someday I’ll hold Noah, Josiah and Lucy in my arms. But not today. Today it’s Adam and I sitting together in our little apartment in Waco, Texas. Today I refuse to take down our Christmas tree so we can enjoy our last Christmas in the states for just a little longer. Today Adam taught me how to make salsa from scratch and it was killer good! Today I’m going to go see Saving Mr. Banks (again!) with a sweet friend before we both move overseas. That was the story He wanted for me today and I’m really happy He let me live it.