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› New education and truth to be told, It’s really scary
Hello my loves! today has been a hectic day on the blog and real life. It just occurred to me that I start in school in 1O days! What!?
This time I am actually super nervous and scared. Just like when I did my nurse assistant education. This education is at the same school that I hate and where I did the N A E. My former high-school. I have so many bad bad memories from there.
I’m nervous due to new class, new teachers and my size in a school with 3K kids. Yes iam preparing mentally for bullying I just have to get used to it. Hard, yes but I must.
School supplies I need to buy; There is alot! Notebooks, pencils, rubbers, books, etc. Ohmy. Books is ordered for this semester though. But not for the other two but one step at the time.
I have totally forgotten what is needed when studying! Except when I did math, but now iam going back to a big school . Which bag? backpack? hand bag? shoulder bag? Style? dye my hair before that? makeup? Entry access card?
So much to think off! For fun I checked on Shein (no im not ordering there, just browsing to get ideas of what I need to buy) and I found a cute pencil case, bags etc but we all know how Shein is. I used to love them but not now after truth has come out.
What education am I doing this time? This time I am not gonna study so my grades gets better. I’m actually gonna study so I take one step closer to the education preschool teacher. I dont really know how to translate the education from Swedish to english other then I use google translator and that translation sounded so weird.. but (according to Google translator) Childcare training with focus on disabilities. .. sounds so weird. On swedish it’s Barnskötare med specialisering funktionsnedsättning.
When I’m done with this education I can work in preschool with special need kids. Student assistant to someone who needs extra help etc. I am so excited about that part.
How did I come up with this idea to become this? Well, I love teaching stuff. I hate standing infront of a whole class though but teaching one on one is no problem. Also I get a chance to learn more about my son’s diagnosis, what to do, how to communicate etc. So its a winwin for me.
Why the career change? honestly, the N.A.E was a promise to my mother before she passed. I have always struggled with what I actually wanted to work with in life. Even though I love taking care of elderly people, I have seen so much that has made me change my mind. It has given me some sort of trauma (not the elderly but the staff and no matter how much you tell the boss, nothing happens) so I decided to stop work at the hospital, senior homes etc.
With this, I can actually help and teach children. Be their helping hand on the same time as I get to learn more professionally about diagnoses etc.
Excited, nervous, terrified and happy. Mixed feelings about this but I think its because the education is held at my former high school.
Hopefully these feelings and thoughts will pass as soon as I start in school and gotten to know the people.
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› Stalker, meetings, and leftover pizza
Hello everyone! I hope you all are doing good! I’m currently in bed for the night, but I wanted to pop in here and say hello!
Today has been pretty hectic due to meetings at hospital, monthly grocery shopping within a time limit which was very stressful, repack food before putting in freeze box, study etc. it has been crazy today so now I’m finally in bed.
Today’s quick dinner while study; left over pizza. Yesh not healthy but it was something over from last night when M and son ate pizza (I always take chicken salad). *snapchat & filter*
Every class we get homework todo til next class and with my history of math etc, I struggle really hard.
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Confession time; I am dead scared of going in school now and alone in town. Why? Because I have a massive stalker who goes to same school as me.
Back story; I’ve met this man three times. Once at a busstop, once in school and now the third time in town when I was in town with my bestfriend. He snook up behind me and said “Hi Emma!” and I always answer when people talk to me so I said Hi back. After that, it went down hill. E even tried to help me get away from this man and after a while which felt like years he left so we could walk away. I was crying, very uncomfortable, scared etc. This man has said he was COMING home to me, tried to kiss me, hug me, he touched me etc. More happened but this whole situation trigger me even when thinking of it (I’m shaking rn).
So my school situation right now is that my teacher know (I texted him the same night it happened, he called and we spoke), the boss over the principal knows and has spoken with all teachers so they all are keeping eyes on me. Which feels very wrong to be honest but I really appreciate it. Yet I am dead scared of going to school I even have classmates who ends the classes early to walk with me to the busstop. that’s crazy!
Long story short; I have school five days a week and I really don’t wanna go but still go.
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I hope you all have an amazing day and remember this; you are fantastic and amazing. Never let anyone else tell you something else. Always.. always be true to yourself.
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› First day of 2025 and this is how I hope my year goes
Happy New Year.all you beautiful souls! I wish you all a year of good health, love, happiness and positive vibes.
I have already posted a vision board for my 2025 but since I made that one I have really been thinking of how I hope and wish my 2025 goes go.
This year I will start take care of myself better ~ both mentally, physically and spiritually. I feel that 2024 has really been bad for me personally so this year I will work hard to take care of myself.
I will start with my weightloss journey again. You all know I was maniac going to the gym last summer and this year I’ll go to the gym more ~ atleast 2 times a week. Between that I will go on walks (photowalks as well)
Try get out of my comfort zone, try new things, change my appearance (hair etc) ~ just to try something new.
Travel to new places and explore new locations is something I really hope will happen. A mini vacation even if it is just a weekend or 24h cruise.
I will continue to study, maybe start a new education this fall if the school have it. Some step closer to my preschool teacher education
Just a few things I have been thinking of. It will probably be added more on the list but that is OK. Im just gonna try working with all these.
Do you have any goals and plans for this year?
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› Are they really allowed to do this?
New week. New possibilities. New steps forward.
This weekend havent been si good to me. Removing more toxicness and negativity out of my life has really taken a toll on my mental health but hey, it might be worth it in the end? I don’t know.
Monday, November 4th, 2024. School. New classmates. Laughed at and massive feeling of disappointment.
Today started good in school but ended up me faking becoming sick so I could leave. First time I did this on this school. Why? A staff who helps students made fun of me and what I said. I got so mad I almost was about to explode but managed myself to stay calm and blame my migraine (I had migraine but is blamed that it became worse). I felt so disgusted, so disappointed, upset and really mad. I left the school so fast so I could cool off a bit away outside.
this happened infront of the two new classmates that started today!
We are grown people and they did this? What?! I can not believe it. and tomorrow it is school again.. hopefully i won’t see this person because iam not up for a confrontation to be honest.. not right now.
Are they staff who works with students (not a teacher) allowed to degrade a student like this? I think it calls degrade. I can be wrong, if so I apologize but I hope you get what I mean.
●●● Anyway, little rant about school today..
Tomorrow it’s Tuesday which means, school at the afternoon. Will probably bring my cameras with me so I can start learn the settings, tips and tricks again. Go for a walk and just be alone to breathe.
● This weekend havent been so good to me. Personally and mentally. Personally I can not talk about here but let me just say, that I have been hurt before by close people but this is in top 3 of the things the person has ever said to me. And that took a massive toll on my mental health. I cried and was hysterical because I couldn’t believe my eyes (the person wrote this so I read, not heard it) and wow I have been a mess but i take it as a sign ~ if that’s how the person feel, they are not meant to be in mine nor my son’s life . it’s that simple.
● My sister and her daughter had to go to an other city by helicopter last night. I can not write details but let me just say that iam terrified and scared. Worried and I don’t know all the emotions. My baby niece A has severe epilepsy and it has become worse. She’s 4 years old!
● I have made a Facebook group (yesterday) if you would like to join to see my artworks. My photographies. I’m gonna expand my equipment with time and hopefully be able to take better pictures 🥰 can’t wait!
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› Goodmorning from the school bench
Goodmorning every single beautiful soul! I hope you all are doing good!
today is all about school for me. Math. It will haunt me in my dreams ~ haha. But hey, one step closer to my next goal.
what are your plans for today? I actually wanted to go to the gym but unfortunately I can’t because of school and the fact that my hip is hurting and to be honest, I think I’m getting sick so facemask on in school. I’m not sick but i feel it’s something in my body that’s off you know.. Åh, doesn’t matter.
I will blog more later