Currently



  • › A quick update

    Explanation of Yesterday

    So, I wanted to blog all day yesterday, but honestly, I ended up falling asleep a lot. I was so tired.

    On Friday, I increased my medication from 2.5 mg to 5 mg, and it made me really ill.

    I threw up several times and felt awful afterward — honestly, I felt even worse before I got sick. I couldn’t sleep afterward either. I finally fell asleep around 7 a.m. and woke up at 10:30 a.m.

    So I pretty much spent the whole day resting.

    Today, I have been shopping (I will show you later 😏), and the countdown is now at 28 days.

    I will make a Weekend Glimpses recap later, but for now, I’m going to try to get some sleep because my stomach is in massive pain again.

    I just wanted to jump on here and explain what I meant by yesterday’s blog post.

    Much love to you all, and thank you! ❤️



  • › The Hug I Really Needed

    I Went Into Town Angry and Came Home Almost Crying

    Am I losing it? My mind?

    I made the decision to not continue school because of everything that happened. I told the teacher. I told my classmates. And still, she sends out the next semester schedule and information about what books we need.

    Like… why?

    So now it has me thinking. Even though it would be a financial struggle for me, maybe I should continue after all.

    Why?

    Well… partly because I honestly want to piss the teacher and principal off. Yes, I am petty. I know that. But after everything they put me through, can you really blame me?

    But there is another reason too.

    If I do not have school or a job and I am home during after-school hours, my son will lose his after-school care placement even though he genuinely needs it for his social development, routines, and support.

    So I am stuck in a really difficult situation right now.

    Because the truth is: I *do* want this education. You all know that. But at the same time, the principal, the internship, and the teacher completely killed my sparkle for it.

    And honestly? Staying home all day would probably mess up my head too.

    Speaking of the internship…

    Today when I went into town for a meeting, I got the biggest hug.

    I was walking between the coffee shop windows and the small bus station when I suddenly heard knocking on the glass. So I turned around and there she was — a mom I used to work with — smiling and pointing toward a child inside the café.

    The SECOND that little girl saw me, she started jumping up and down.

    I rushed inside immediately.

    And oh my God 😭

    The second I got through the doors, she came RUNNING toward me so fast that I barely had time to lean down before she literally flew up onto me and wrapped herself around me like a tiny octopus.

    She did NOT want to let go.

    I have not seen her since my internship ended, so seeing her again honestly hit me right in the heart.

    Then her mom told me something that almost made me cry right there in the café.

    Apparently, this little girl asks almost every single day:
    “Where is Emma? Is Emma coming?”

    That completely broke my heart.

    So I explained to her mom what actually happened during my internship and how I had been treated. Let us just say… she got MAD. Like genuinely angry on my behalf.

    Meanwhile, my little octopus was still clinging onto me 😭

    Unfortunately, we eventually had to separate because I had a meeting to get to and she was there with her mom and friends.

    But wow…

    I really needed that hug more than I realized.

    Me and this child connected instantly from my very first day there (not the child connected to the accusations before anyone starts wondering), and seeing her again honestly made me remember why I loved this in the first place.

    A small hug really can make the world feel softer sometimes.

    And today, I really needed that softness.

    So this had me thinking as well. 



  • › The Audacity! How Are You Not Embarrassed?

    Charlotte Dobre

    THE AUDACITY. The sheer audacity of this woman to even think I would participate.

    No. Absolutely not after everything she put me through.

    For those of you who do not know about this whole situation, let me explain.

    I was studying the first step toward becoming a preschool teacher. I had almost finished one full year and only had five months left when everything happened. During that time, I was doing my internship at a preschool.

    Let me just say this: they completely screwed me over.

    Dangerously false accusations were made against me, and neither the teacher, the principals (yes, two different principals), nor even their boss actually listened to my side of the story. Instead, I got kicked out because of it all.

    And honestly? It still pisses me off.

    Now to the actual audacity.

    The teacher invited me to the last school day before summer break.

    Yeah… no.

    I am not doing that.

    When I told some of my classmates what had actually happened, they were genuinely shocked. Meanwhile, the teacher kept saying things like:

    “Emma, you can come if you want to. It would be good for you.”

    Good for me? Seriously?!

    Ew disturbed barbie being disgusted

    I beg your finest pardon Charlotte dobre



    After everything that happened, it honestly just feels insulting. Like being spat in the face and then politely invited back to smile about it.

    So no. I would honestly rather stay home, sleep, or go into the city and buy Pepsi Max instead.

    I even wanted to reply to the invitation with a few gifs that I sent to my best friend/cousin afterward. Let us just say… the gifs had opinions. Strong ones.

    But she told me:
    “Be the bigger person.”

    So fine. I will behave.

    Still tempted, though.

    And no, I will not share the gifs here either. Sorry.



  • › Witness in the future?

    What’s something you’d love to see in the future, but know you probably won’t live to witness?

    Honestly, i want to see elephants free. See them in their natural habitat.

    I want to see ocras/killerwhale, dolphins and whales.

    That would be wonderful to see and witness.



  • › I’m terrified and I Finally Made My Decision

    Goth fashion, skulls and railway



    Remember yesterday when I said I would rethink the education?

    Yeah. I made my decision today. I’m done.

    Today I finally got the papers from my internship that I requested back in May.

    And honestly?
    I am in complete shock.

    The lies.
    The accusations.
    The way they describe me.

    It was terrifying to read. I completely broke down after reading it. Why? Why all this towards me?

    I genuinely don’t understand. This isn’t me! Who is this person they describe? It ain’t me!

    WHY would I apply for this education if I was actually the kind of person they are trying to make me look like?

    Why would I choose to work with children if I was threatening?

    I love children. I love teaching them things. I love being playful and childish around them.

    So reading all of this honestly made me feel sick.

    Later today, I saw one of my old teachers from before this education while I was in town.

    And I asked him straight out:

    “Have I ever threatened you or anyone?”
    “Have I ever mentally abused anyone?”
    “Have I ever made anyone scared or uncomfortable?”

    He literally started laughing because he thought the questions sounded absurd.

    Then he asked me where all of this even came from.

    So I explained everything.
    The accusations.
    The papers.
    Everything.

    And honestly?
    I broke down in front of him.

    He kept repeating:
    “Emma, you are literally the last person I would describe like that.”

    He said I’m kind. That we always have a great bond and that  I am nothing like they try to make me look like.

    Before I left for the bus he looked at me and said:

    “Fuck them. Ignore them.”

    But it’s not that easy. This is serious! I’m genuinely scared after reading those papers.

    And after today, after reading everything, I realized I can’t go back there again. I’m done.

    I can’t.

    My head is complete chaos right now.

    Shock.
    Anger.
    Confusion.
    Fear.

    I know this post is messy, but honestly?
    I really needed to get this off my chest somehow.