● Currently



  • β€Ί Currently. Overwhelmed.

    Why is this trip more overwhelming than the trip I did to Italy?

    Is it just me, or do some trips feel heavier before you even leave?

    I honestly don’t know β€” maybe some trips just come with chaos attached to them. So who knows how this one will turn out.. πŸ’€ …maybe good, maybe bad. All I know is that this trip feels more chaotic than the others I’ve been on.



  • β€Ί How I Stepped Out of My Comfort Zone Despite Body Insecurities

    Stepping out of my comfort zone while struggling with body insecurities felt terrifying, but after 30+ hours awake, six bus rides, and a full day of parenting, I still challenged myself to do something scary.

    Even with zero sleep, I still did something my son loves β€” riding the bus.

    We went into town to buy my Propud for smoothies, berries, and other essentials, but also to help E practice his social skills.

    Two stores, heavy backpacks, and significantly poorer later…

    We came home with a toy for E, candy, Pepsi Max (yup, of course), six protein shakes for my smoothies, frozen mangoes and raspberries, a bag of chips, ice cream, bananas, nicotine pouches, on-the-go yogurt, an energy drink, and a can of Pepsi Max.



    Let me count…

    1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6.

    Six bus rides in just two hours.

    That’s honestly insane.

    At the same time, I challenged myself by stepping way out of my comfort zone β€” which felt terrifying.



    How?

    I tied up my shirt so it became a cropped top, meaning I showed a bit of my stomach (see pictures), and I also went out wearing lace leggings.

    I never show my stomach, so that alone was huge for me.

    Funny enough, the leggings were actually too big for me, which is a pretty massive result of my ongoing weight loss journey β€” WOHO!

    That gives me even more motivation to keep going and reach my goal.

    At least E was happy, and I didn’t crash, so I’ll call that a win πŸ™ŒπŸΌ

    I can honestly say I’m pretty impressed that even after 30+ hours with zero sleep… I was still up and walking.



  • β€Ί Wait… Bulgaria Is In 19 Days?!

    Time to Pull Up a Chair Β·

    A chaotic little pre-trip checklist before Bulgaria β€” mostly so I don’t forget anything. Packing lists, random purchases, and yes… rice.


    A cartoon looking me. Lol!


    Bulgaria trip is coming up way faster than I thought. Today the countdown shows 19 days.

    In 20 days I will be in Bulgaria! That’s insane!
    Wait… Emma, what? 19 & 20? I will be at the airport on July 12th BUT the flight doesn’t leave until 06.30am on July 13th.


    Leave for airport – July 12
    Flight to Bulgaria – July 13



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    βœ”οΈ Plane tickets βœ”οΈ
    βœ”οΈ Hotel booked βœ”οΈ
    βœ”οΈ Airport transfers arranged βœ”οΈ
    βœ”οΈ Train tickets βœ”οΈ



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    Things I have bought;

    Shoulder bag that fits the camera bag plus more βœ”οΈ
    Travel locks βœ”οΈ
    Sunglasses βœ”οΈ
    New shoes βœ”οΈ
    Cabin bag βœ”οΈ
    Suitcase βœ”οΈ
    Camera lens covers βœ”οΈ



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    What I don’t need to buy/have already (mostly a reminder to myself)

    Travel bottles (for night cream, hair oil etc) βœ”οΈ
    Scrunchies βœ”οΈ
    Brush βœ”οΈ
    Headphones βœ”οΈ
    Charger βœ”οΈ (but I do need a new cable though)
    Water bottle βœ”οΈ (I tend to buy ALOT of those)



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    What I can buy in Bulgaria:
    This might sound weird but bear with me. I will explain below.

    Toothpaste + Toothbrush
    Shampoo & Shower stuff
    Rice

    I can probably buy more but for now, that’s what I have come up with now.

    Now for the explanation… why I can buy those things in Bulgaria: it may not take much space but I would rather buy those things in Bulgaria than risk having an explosion in my suitcase. Rice? I will bring an extra sock so I can fill it with rice and make a little beanbag that works as a tripod for night photos etc instead of bringing my tripod with me, which I did when I went to Italy β€” so… let’s just say I won’t be doing that again.



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    Wow I didn’t expect the post to be this long with just; what I have, need, and don’t.



  • β€Ί A quick update

    Explanation of Yesterday

    So, I wanted to blog all day yesterday, but honestly, I ended up falling asleep a lot. I was so tired.

    On Friday, I increased my medication from 2.5 mg to 5 mg, and it made me really ill.

    I threw up several times and felt awful afterward β€” honestly, I felt even worse before I got sick. I couldn’t sleep afterward either. I finally fell asleep around 7 a.m. and woke up at 10:30 a.m.

    So I pretty much spent the whole day resting.

    Today, I have been shopping (I will show you later 😏), and the countdown is now at 28 days.

    I will make a Weekend Glimpses recap later, but for now, I’m going to try to get some sleep because my stomach is in massive pain again.

    I just wanted to jump on here and explain what I meant by yesterday’s blog post.

    Much love to you all, and thank you! ❀️



  • β€Ί The Hug I Really Needed

    I Went Into Town Angry and Came Home Almost Crying

    Am I losing it? My mind?

    I made the decision to not continue school because of everything that happened. I told the teacher. I told my classmates. And still, she sends out the next semester schedule and information about what books we need.

    Like… why?

    So now it has me thinking. Even though it would be a financial struggle for me, maybe I should continue after all.

    Why?

    Well… partly because I honestly want to piss the teacher and principal off. Yes, I am petty. I know that. But after everything they put me through, can you really blame me?

    But there is another reason too.

    If I do not have school or a job and I am home during after-school hours, my son will lose his after-school care placement even though he genuinely needs it for his social development, routines, and support.

    So I am stuck in a really difficult situation right now.

    Because the truth is: I *do* want this education. You all know that. But at the same time, the principal, the internship, and the teacher completely killed my sparkle for it.

    And honestly? Staying home all day would probably mess up my head too.

    Speaking of the internship…

    Today when I went into town for a meeting, I got the biggest hug.

    I was walking between the coffee shop windows and the small bus station when I suddenly heard knocking on the glass. So I turned around and there she was β€” a mom I used to work with β€” smiling and pointing toward a child inside the cafΓ©.

    The SECOND that little girl saw me, she started jumping up and down.

    I rushed inside immediately.

    And oh my God 😭

    The second I got through the doors, she came RUNNING toward me so fast that I barely had time to lean down before she literally flew up onto me and wrapped herself around me like a tiny octopus.

    She did NOT want to let go.

    I have not seen her since my internship ended, so seeing her again honestly hit me right in the heart.

    Then her mom told me something that almost made me cry right there in the cafΓ©.

    Apparently, this little girl asks almost every single day:
    β€œWhere is Emma? Is Emma coming?”

    That completely broke my heart.

    So I explained to her mom what actually happened during my internship and how I had been treated. Let us just say… she got MAD. Like genuinely angry on my behalf.

    Meanwhile, my little octopus was still clinging onto me 😭

    Unfortunately, we eventually had to separate because I had a meeting to get to and she was there with her mom and friends.

    But wow…

    I really needed that hug more than I realized.

    Me and this child connected instantly from my very first day there (not the child connected to the accusations before anyone starts wondering), and seeing her again honestly made me remember why I loved this in the first place.

    A small hug really can make the world feel softer sometimes.

    And today, I really needed that softness.

    So this had me thinking as well.