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› Why I Dream of Going to Kenya — And Why I Hate Zoos
How about you? Let me know your answer in the comments below — I’d love to read 🖤
— Question Jar —
It’s a lot but here we go with two easy ones.
(AI-generated version of me) What’s something people don’t know about you? Here are two things most people don’t know about me: I dream of going to Kenya to disconnect from technology and spend time near elephants — and I strongly believe wild animals belong in nature, not zoos.
I want to go to Kenya and be technology-free for a week or so. Maybe not completely technology-free since I’d still use my cameras. But no social media, no messages — no nothing.
Why Kenya? Simple answer: elephants.
I love elephants and have since I was a very young toddler. I used to have around 200 porcelain, wooden, and jade elephant statues, but sadly I had to get rid of most of them.
I’ve always wanted to see elephants with my own eyes. Sure, I have seen them — twice.
I cried the first time I saw them, both out of happiness and sadness.
The second time I saw them, I got angry.
Seeing them locked up in a zoo — not just elephants, but all animals — and not being in their natural habitat makes me incredibly upset.
Sanctuaries are great for protecting and helping animals, but zoos? Na.
I wish they were illegal.
I’m so happy the EU made it illegal for circuses to have animals, and I wish that mindset would continue when it comes to zoos too.
So I guess that’s actually two things:
● One — I want to go to Kenya and disconnect from technology for a while.
● Two — I hate zoos.
What’s something people don’t know about you? -
› Some Things Stay Private for a Reason
Some secrets are not kept out of shame — but out of survival.
There’s some relief… but I’m still on my toes, and my nervous system hasn’t left survival mode — I’m not sure it ever will. Remember the secret I had been carrying?
I’ve taken more steps to protect both myself and E.
I won’t go into details — and that’s intentional.
Some things are better kept private, especially when safety becomes part of your everyday life.
What I can say is this: I’ve done everything I can to create more distance, more boundaries, and more protection around our lives.
Even with that, fear doesn’t just disappear overnight.
Living in constant alert changes something in you.
You start thinking differently.
Moving differently.
Trusting differently.
Your nervous system never fully relaxes because part of you is always scanning for danger, always preparing for the “what if.”
Most of all, I worry about E.
That fear sits deeper than anything else.
I’m trying my best to create safety, peace, and stability — even on the days when fear feels louder than reason.
And maybe that’s what survival sometimes looks like:
Not the absence of fear.
But continuing anyway.Read part 1 ~> here
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› Salted Caramel Iced Coffee Review — My Old Obsession Is Back
I tried one of my old obsessions today and I can honestly say… the obsession is still very much alive.
I go through phases with iced coffee (and iced lattes), but right now I have around 30 cans of these sitting in my fridge.
Today I grabbed one and the second I took that first sip, I swear I could hear an angel choir singing — *hallelujah*.
I genuinely want to recommend this one to you guys. If you don’t enjoy drinking coffee black with just a splash of milk, and you like salted caramel, this might be for you.
I don’t know if this exact one exists where you live, but maybe you can find something similar.
Salted Caramel Iced Coffee
Rating: 9.5/10
The missing 0.5? The sugar.
Because of my diabetes, I can only drink one at a time. Back in the day, though… I could easily drink 10 of these in a day. -
› How I Stepped Out of My Comfort Zone Despite Body Insecurities
Stepping out of my comfort zone while struggling with body insecurities felt terrifying, but after 30+ hours awake, six bus rides, and a full day of parenting, I still challenged myself to do something scary.
Even with zero sleep, I still did something my son loves — riding the bus.
We went into town to buy my Propud for smoothies, berries, and other essentials, but also to help E practice his social skills.
Two stores, heavy backpacks, and significantly poorer later…
We came home with a toy for E, candy, Pepsi Max (yup, of course), six protein shakes for my smoothies, frozen mangoes and raspberries, a bag of chips, ice cream, bananas, nicotine pouches, on-the-go yogurt, an energy drink, and a can of Pepsi Max.
Let me count…
1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6.
Six bus rides in just two hours.
That’s honestly insane.
At the same time, I challenged myself by stepping way out of my comfort zone — which felt terrifying.
How?
I tied up my shirt so it became a cropped top, meaning I showed a bit of my stomach (see pictures), and I also went out wearing lace leggings.
I never show my stomach, so that alone was huge for me.
Funny enough, the leggings were actually too big for me, which is a pretty massive result of my ongoing weight loss journey — WOHO!
That gives me even more motivation to keep going and reach my goal.
At least E was happy, and I didn’t crash, so I’ll call that a win 🙌🏼
I can honestly say I’m pretty impressed that even after 30+ hours with zero sleep… I was still up and walking. -
› 32 Hours Awake: Sleep Deprivation, Parenting & Pure Survival Mode
32+ hours awake, one overenergized child, zero brain cells, and caffeine as a personality trait. Welcome to survival mode. 😄🖤💀
Guess what? I still haven’t gotten any sleep.
It’s currently 5 PM, and I can honestly say: I A M D E A D.
Not literally, but you get what I mean.
My son is still all over the place, full of energy, and I’m honestly jealous. If I had even one percent of his energy, I’d be happy.
Headache ✅
Sound sensitive ✅
Light sensitive ✅
I was hoping I’d at least get a nap during the day, but with my luck… I doubt it.
I need to keep E awake for the rest of the day, otherwise I’ll probably have another night like this, and my body and mental health honestly can’t handle that.
So here we go 😵💫 A few more hours to survive.
I’m praying he sleeps tonight because I have a super important meeting tomorrow that I absolutely need to attend.
I’ve officially been awake for 32 hours and 30 minutes… and I definitely feel it.How’s your day?