I don’t want to be here

Here we go. Quick post. Been preparing myself mentally for this. I hate it here.

I tried wavy hair today. I don’t know if I like it or not. I am so happy that I have a hair cream that makes my hair feel and look thicker! Remind me please to buy more of that cream! My hair is so think and my hair breaks off so easy. I hate it.

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Back to school – even after what happened but I have to do it for my son. I hate it to be honest. For my son? Yes, i do this so he get after-school care to be with children and to get help with he’s development.

But going here, for me – my feeling, thought and opinions – shows that I accept and is ok of what they did – which i don’t! I am still super mad but here i am. Forcing myself, struggling to focus and to listen. My mind went in “attack” mode – not hurting them but more in fighting/defense myself mode. Just Because of that. I can’t focus. Every time the teacher talk – I honestly get irritated. Hopefully it will go away soon. I hope. For my son and for my future of my career – Hopefully.

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Yes, I’m still on crutches even though I am stubborn to avoid using them and forcing myself to go as “normal” as possible.

I had to ask for elevator key at school. I have my classes on the third floor – 60 steps. To many steps!  So signing papers, showing my ID, showing school card etc. Just to get the damn key.

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It’s currently lunch and I’m sitting here, listening to the songs I’ve written. Good lyrics 🤘🏼 Ego and brag? Ofcourse.

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Jumping all over in this post but here I am! E is going to he’s friend tonight so I will have time to study and edit some photos! Woho! I finally found the harddrive where I have all the photos from the trips!

Wish me luck. Five more hours of this hell 😩 😵‍💫