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They Arrived! My Head’s Spinning With Thoughts
one step closer to my new career. I’m excited but terrified on the same time.
After 11th August it will come up school posts. My daily life, lifestyle. I hope you all are excited and ok with following my journey to become a preschool teacher with specialized for diagnosis.
They arrived with Early Bird which means they come really fast in the mail. To my surprise, the books came within two days. That’s crazy fast!
I got a notification on my phone that it was delivered and my heart took an extra skip. Now it feels kinda official that I will be one step closer.
I am scared though. Will I be able to manage to understand the academic words? Sure it’s not as hard as University level of my future school but after been scanning /looking through them fast, my brain stopped working.
I will have more courses during this education but these are the first three books I’ll use for the first semester. According to the schedule, there will be two more different classes per week but no books to them? I am so confused about that.
As you all can read, I have mixed feelings about this career choice. I really want this but I am terrified… of failing, of the school, of the classmates, teachers etc. How will it go? So many thoughts, feelings etc that I need to sort out and try find the motivation and the encouragement that I’m getting closer to the job I really want.
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New education and truth to be told, It’s really scary
Hello my loves! today has been a hectic day on the blog and real life. It just occurred to me that I start in school in 1O days! What!?
This time I am actually super nervous and scared. Just like when I did my nurse assistant education. This education is at the same school that I hate and where I did the N A E. My former high-school. I have so many bad bad memories from there.
I’m nervous due to new class, new teachers and my size in a school with 3K kids. Yes iam preparing mentally for bullying I just have to get used to it. Hard, yes but I must.
School supplies I need to buy; There is alot! Notebooks, pencils, rubbers, books, etc. Ohmy. Books is ordered for this semester though. But not for the other two but one step at the time.
I have totally forgotten what is needed when studying! Except when I did math, but now iam going back to a big school . Which bag? backpack? hand bag? shoulder bag? Style? dye my hair before that? makeup? Entry access card?
So much to think off! For fun I checked on Shein (no im not ordering there, just browsing to get ideas of what I need to buy) and I found a cute pencil case, bags etc but we all know how Shein is. I used to love them but not now after truth has come out.
What education am I doing this time? This time I am not gonna study so my grades gets better. I’m actually gonna study so I take one step closer to the education preschool teacher. I dont really know how to translate the education from Swedish to english other then I use google translator and that translation sounded so weird.. but (according to Google translator) Childcare training with focus on disabilities. .. sounds so weird. On swedish it’s Barnskötare med specialisering funktionsnedsättning.
When I’m done with this education I can work in preschool with special need kids. Student assistant to someone who needs extra help etc. I am so excited about that part.
How did I come up with this idea to become this? Well, I love teaching stuff. I hate standing infront of a whole class though but teaching one on one is no problem. Also I get a chance to learn more about my son’s diagnosis, what to do, how to communicate etc. So its a winwin for me.
Why the career change? honestly, the N.A.E was a promise to my mother before she passed. I have always struggled with what I actually wanted to work with in life. Even though I love taking care of elderly people, I have seen so much that has made me change my mind. It has given me some sort of trauma (not the elderly but the staff and no matter how much you tell the boss, nothing happens) so I decided to stop work at the hospital, senior homes etc.
With this, I can actually help and teach children. Be their helping hand on the same time as I get to learn more professionally about diagnoses etc.
Excited, nervous, terrified and happy. Mixed feelings about this but I think its because the education is held at my former high school.
Hopefully these feelings and thoughts will pass as soon as I start in school and gotten to know the people.
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Stalker, meetings, and leftover pizza
Hello everyone! I hope you all are doing good! I’m currently in bed for the night, but I wanted to pop in here and say hello!
Today has been pretty hectic due to meetings at hospital, monthly grocery shopping within a time limit which was very stressful, repack food before putting in freeze box, study etc. it has been crazy today so now I’m finally in bed.
Today’s quick dinner while study; left over pizza. Yesh not healthy but it was something over from last night when M and son ate pizza (I always take chicken salad). *snapchat & filter*
Every class we get homework todo til next class and with my history of math etc, I struggle really hard.
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Confession time; I am dead scared of going in school now and alone in town. Why? Because I have a massive stalker who goes to same school as me.
Back story; I’ve met this man three times. Once at a busstop, once in school and now the third time in town when I was in town with my bestfriend. He snook up behind me and said “Hi Emma!” and I always answer when people talk to me so I said Hi back. After that, it went down hill. E even tried to help me get away from this man and after a while which felt like years he left so we could walk away. I was crying, very uncomfortable, scared etc. This man has said he was COMING home to me, tried to kiss me, hug me, he touched me etc. More happened but this whole situation trigger me even when thinking of it (I’m shaking rn).
So my school situation right now is that my teacher know (I texted him the same night it happened, he called and we spoke), the boss over the principal knows and has spoken with all teachers so they all are keeping eyes on me. Which feels very wrong to be honest but I really appreciate it. Yet I am dead scared of going to school I even have classmates who ends the classes early to walk with me to the busstop. that’s crazy!
Long story short; I have school five days a week and I really don’t wanna go but still go.
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I hope you all have an amazing day and remember this; you are fantastic and amazing. Never let anyone else tell you something else. Always.. always be true to yourself.
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Goodmorning from the school bench
Goodmorning every single beautiful soul! I hope you all are doing good!
today is all about school for me. Math. It will haunt me in my dreams ~ haha. But hey, one step closer to my next goal.
what are your plans for today? I actually wanted to go to the gym but unfortunately I can’t because of school and the fact that my hip is hurting and to be honest, I think I’m getting sick so facemask on in school. I’m not sick but i feel it’s something in my body that’s off you know.. Åh, doesn’t matter.
I will blog more later
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Enormous pressure in school. Questioning my future.
teardrops from heaven.
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as much as this blog will have a lot of photographs I have been taking I also will be sharing about my life and days. Like today my day was not good in school. I did a big exam in math and failed.
Math has always been a subject I always hated. I never got any help in school when I was younger and now iam in a class where I get a lot of help and actually learn math. That’s crazy! Back to the test, I tried hard. I doodled my calculations, I counted etc but yet I failed it. Luckily I can re-do it later. But it made the teach and I talk more about my past of school experiences etc. Let me just say that they were not good. We also spoke about my future, how the teacher will help me etc.
So after our talk, it got me thinking hard of my education. Iam already a nurse assistant but don’t wanna work on hospital etc anymore so I decided to study to become a preschool teacher. But here’s the problem, it’s in an other city and my husband has two jobs.. And we have E. So I must rethink my new carrier move.
I love teaching. I taught my husband swedish (fluently) both talking and writing on 6 months. I have easy to learn languages. I’ve learned sign language etc to communicate with my son when he can’t talk (he is non verbal but actually learning to say some words). And that’s how my thoughts of becoming a preschool teacher started.. I teach the children same as I teach my son. but like I said ..the education are in an other city and requires 5 days a week at school.
so now iam confused and lost. Should I give up this as I gave up my dreams to become a photographer for national geographic magazine.. as I have given up a dream carrier as a translator on arabic and spanish for embassies and governments (no education here in Sweden for that). what will my next move be?
tomorrow it’s time for math again. 12h a week in school.. only math. lovely. but tomorrow I will try attacking algebra and I’m scared.