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› Why I Don’t Feel Like I Belong in Sweden — My Travel Dreams & Bucket List
Not about escaping — it’s about finding where my soul feels at home beyond Sweden
— Porch Talk —
All my life I’ve felt like there is something more out there for me. Discover hidden gems, see how people live in different parts of the world. Explore, discover and experience.
Not in a dramatic “I hate everything here” kind of way (almost though) — I may be born in Sweden but the urge to “escape” is huge.
I want to go all over the world – Spain, Greece, America, Australia, New Zealand, Vietnam, Kenya and so many more places.
I want to see and experience culture, food, streets and everything. Not tourist things but those hidden alleys with stories of each person in each household. See their windows, flowers, garden, back alleys (all this of course without trespassing or being a creep) and see, just their personality.
Traveling, for me, isn’t just about checking off tourist spots and bucket list to be honest — even though I have some special places I wish to go to. It’s about feeling something.
Maybe it looks like escaping. Maybe part of it is. But I think it’s more about searching for something I haven’t found yet.
It’s not about escaping Sweden — it’s about finding the right place for me whether it’s in Norway, Spain or Vietnam or somewhere else.
It’s more about this constant feeling of wanting to explore what exists beyond what I already know.
I want freedom. I want to feel like myself without needing to hide. I want to explore the world together with my son.Maybe that is what I’m searching for — not just places, but pieces of myself.
Explore. See. Feel. Hear. Touch. Breathe.— Question Jar —
● Do you think home is a place, a person, or a feeling?
● Have you ever felt like you were born in the wrong place?● If you could disappear to anywhere for a year — where would you go?
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› Currently. Overwhelmed.
Why is this trip more overwhelming than the trip I did to Italy?
Is it just me, or do some trips feel heavier before you even leave?
I honestly don’t know — maybe some trips just come with chaos attached to them. So who knows how this one will turn out.. 💀 …maybe good, maybe bad. All I know is that this trip feels more chaotic than the others I’ve been on.
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› How I Stepped Out of My Comfort Zone Despite Body Insecurities
Stepping out of my comfort zone while struggling with body insecurities felt terrifying, but after 30+ hours awake, six bus rides, and a full day of parenting, I still challenged myself to do something scary.
Even with zero sleep, I still did something my son loves — riding the bus.
We went into town to buy my Propud for smoothies, berries, and other essentials, but also to help E practice his social skills.
Two stores, heavy backpacks, and significantly poorer later…
We came home with a toy for E, candy, Pepsi Max (yup, of course), six protein shakes for my smoothies, frozen mangoes and raspberries, a bag of chips, ice cream, bananas, nicotine pouches, on-the-go yogurt, an energy drink, and a can of Pepsi Max.
Let me count…
1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6.
Six bus rides in just two hours.
That’s honestly insane.
At the same time, I challenged myself by stepping way out of my comfort zone — which felt terrifying.
How?
I tied up my shirt so it became a cropped top, meaning I showed a bit of my stomach (see pictures), and I also went out wearing lace leggings.
I never show my stomach, so that alone was huge for me.
Funny enough, the leggings were actually too big for me, which is a pretty massive result of my ongoing weight loss journey — WOHO!
That gives me even more motivation to keep going and reach my goal.
At least E was happy, and I didn’t crash, so I’ll call that a win 🙌🏼
I can honestly say I’m pretty impressed that even after 30+ hours with zero sleep… I was still up and walking. -
› 32 Hours Awake: Sleep Deprivation, Parenting & Pure Survival Mode
32+ hours awake, one overenergized child, zero brain cells, and caffeine as a personality trait. Welcome to survival mode. 😄🖤💀
Guess what? I still haven’t gotten any sleep.
It’s currently 5 PM, and I can honestly say: I A M D E A D.
Not literally, but you get what I mean.
My son is still all over the place, full of energy, and I’m honestly jealous. If I had even one percent of his energy, I’d be happy.
Headache ✅
Sound sensitive ✅
Light sensitive ✅
I was hoping I’d at least get a nap during the day, but with my luck… I doubt it.
I need to keep E awake for the rest of the day, otherwise I’ll probably have another night like this, and my body and mental health honestly can’t handle that.
So here we go 😵💫 A few more hours to survive.
I’m praying he sleeps tonight because I have a super important meeting tomorrow that I absolutely need to attend.
I’ve officially been awake for 32 hours and 30 minutes… and I definitely feel it.How’s your day?
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› Our Son Had His Own Graduation
Today is not a regular day because today it was my son’s end-of-the-school year celebration.
Swedish flag in the wind.
We went to his school to see the “graduation”. Was waiting for them to come walking and start the singing..until a mother or if it was an assistant or teacher, came up to me “Are you E’s mom?” I answered yes and she told me that my son’s class was having their singing somewhere else.
I got very irritated to be honest, because this has made us miss 10 minutes of his singing. I told M where they were so we went there.
None of us had gotten the information about this. We thought they were gonna celebrate at their regular location, no they had changed location!
So unfortunately we missed 10 minutes but we attended for the rest. Unfortunately we had to hide (mostly me) because E would have left the classes and their performance to run up to me. I saw a little bit of it.
He was so good! He attended the whole performance with the class. Sure, when they were was switching songs (the teachers use signs and signlanguage to show and tell which song was next) we heard E sing randomly “Keep going but be supersneaky” < another type of Baby Shark and so many other songs. I laughed.Our son had his own graduation.
It was wonderful to see and hear him participate in every event.
I love E and how funny he is. Parents were laughing as well. Imagine, all quiet location, before sign languages etc and speak started, all you could hear was my son singing baby shark.●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●
Car selfie. *filter* After the graduation of our son, M and I left (E was gonna stay in school to have an end-of-school year with his class), we decided to go to the foodstore. Todays dinner; Indian food and rice.
Snapshots of today
Random silhouette 
To my son “You are the best!” 
Meat, bananas and leverpastej 
CARSELFIE