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› Panic, but I think I made it, but it made my head go loco.
the hustle. the stress. the panic. the warnings. It made my head go loco.
But guess who managed to fix it? I DID!!!! I got a warning from my teacher that I was about to fail some classes, and this is the last week I have to do the last of the assignments. I have been sitting for several days for HOURS and just worked my butt off and sent them in. I now “only” have five left plus a presentation on Monday, and after that I am done for this first semester!
So I am extremely happy and actually surprised, plus in shock of myself. One week and I have sent in… I don’t know how many assignments. Is that my ADHD working? Better under pressure? I have no idea, but I can honestly say—next semester and the last one, I do NOT want to do this again!
So because of this, my head is now all loco! Hopefully I can take a small break this weekend and get some rest for my head but if I know myself.. I won’t.
This year my mental health has really declined so much, but I’m hopeful that next year will be a better year. I started with a new medicine a week ago for my ADHD (I requested it myself), and it has actually helped me get a bit more focus. Sure, I’m still tired, so I also got new sleeping pills that knock me completely out. So I haven’t taken them every day—two pills since last week. I will only take it when E is not home and I have nothing important the day after. Mama needs her sleep! That’s why I’m hopeful! Hopefully it will help me get better.
I have even started to do some makeup which has been superloooong time ago. Last Monday (15th) I had red eyelook and visited my last internship location before school. Let me tell you guys, the look on my kids / students. Oh my. They complimented me so much and that actually made me happy so I have been using makeup twice this week.
So I am a bit hopeful about 2026. I’m working hard to become myself. The bubbly, happy, laughing, goofy Emma.
Thank you everyone for reading. 🤍 As you know, my head is all messed up now, so I apologize that I haven’t answered any comments yet. I will when my head allows me. Even writing this post takes energy. Plus I have been at an education presentation today, and I actually fell asleep for a few seconds, so today is a tired day for me.
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› Short time in the town. Kinda regret it
Why did I forgot?
Today I had to go to the town for the first time in a long time. Due to my bad mental health, I haven’t had energy, etc., to just go. But I have noticed since I came home from Italy, it has gotten a bit better. Thank God.
Pharmacy, cafelatte caramel, cardamom bun, art, selfie, books and window shopping.
Today’s outfit. I had a long shirt and a pair of shorts. I still try to get out of my comfort zone, so today I went to the town like this.
The shoes I have on are from Primark in Italy. I’m trying to “walk in” them, so luckily I had an extra pair in my bag.
(Also, don’t ask me what I’m doing in the second picture because I have no idea.)
While waiting on the pharmacy to open after lunch, I decided to go and have my first caramel caffe latte in a long time. Thank God I took water because, oh my god, how sweet the latte was. I had totally forgotten how sweet it is. I forced myself to drink it all (blood sugar was going down) and also eat the bun. But it… made me struggle, I’m not gonna lie.
While sitting here, I charged my headphones. All of a sudden, while I was listening to music on the bus, a person said in my headphones, “Low battery” and I hate that, so I was charging at the cafe while playing some game on the phone.
When i was done with my fika I went to the pharmacy but they still weren’t open. Frustrating for me, im not gonna lie, so I decided to go “window shopping” except it wasn’t through windows.
I didn’t purchase anything. It was alright just looking around. Found these cute little handbags; I was tempted to buy them, but what would I use them for? I tried to come up with something to use it for, but I couldn’t, so I left them.
Normally I just walk past the bookstore, but today my head actually told me to go check the books out, so I did. I havent read a book since 5th grade, so for me actually wanting to buy one book to read is super duper rare. Unfortunately I didn’t find anyone that caught my interest.
So this was a short, little brief post about what I did today.
I’m actually going to bed now. Dentist tomorrow and I am not ready for it 😭 # phobiaofthedentist
Goodnight my loves!
Tomorrow I’m going to sneak-charge the tab I own (and lend it out to E) so I can start writing on my blog through that one as well.
Anyway, my eyes is heavy so I’m going to put down my phone and sleep.