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› I’m not religious but THANK YOU JESUS AND GOD!
Thank GOD that these four weeks is over.
Cartoon filter on Today was the last day of my internship and I couldn’t be more happy!
I woke up today with a smile on my face. Even though it was super early. Tired but happy. After all, today was the f i n a l day at my internship.
I decided to put makeup on and bring my style out. Skulls, makeup, fixed hair etc. I was going out with a bang. I haven’t been allowed to have my style because it would scare the kids. I had actually been there with some t-shirts with gothic stuff and that wasn’t popular but I don’t own all black clothes and I refuse colorful.
So I went to my internship, all “glammed” goth up and the kids loved it. They got to see the real me. They didn’t get scared. They asked questions like “what do you have on your eyes?” Etc so I told them that it’s makeup. They complimented me so so much on it. Some of the smaller children were so cute, they were pointing on their face – like the eye and then at mine and all off the sudden said “wow”.
The fact that no child were scared made me so happy.
When I was going (end of my “shift”) I went and said good bye to all the kids. Thanked them for having me and so many children didn’t want me to leave. They wanted me to stay. That says ALOT in my ears.
Four weeks, 35 kids and they don’t want me to leave. Yet the staff / teachers didn’t like me and caused problems for me.
All I can say is, thank God it’s over. I’m so happy but also so sad because I will miss all the kids. The laughter, jokes, games, hide-and-seeks, chasing each other, the bridge I did with them when they had outdoor playtime, and all the hugs.
I will not miss the staff (except the food lady. She was super sweet) and in my opinion, their fakeness.
Yeah they will probably read this. I know my teach do HEY MARIANNE! and she probably show the principal. Oh that reminds me, they want a meeting with me on monday . Yay.
Oh, did I tell you guys that I have been sued by the preschool teachers? Why you might ask.. well here’s the truth; a child were abusing and punched another child in the face with their fist (ok let me make it easier ; Punching child will be X and the child who got beaten will be Y).
I may have been a student there but when I saw X punched with the first smack of fist on the child Y and I saw the child X was going to do it again with the other hand, I instantly said No out loud towards the child. Note that I was the only adult who saw it! The other adults had their backs towards the situation and that’s why iam being sued. I said no to a child. Even thought I spoke with the child afterwards and explained that I got scared when I saw it happen and I didn’t want to see stuff like that etc. On calm voice and low level. I even told one of the adults what happened and this adult J said “sometimes a punch is necessary!” Like excuse me..!? Are you for real!?
So I wrote to my teacher after we had a meeting at the internship saying that I will back off, not intervene when situations like that happen again. I also wrote “if the adults and preschool accepts abuse and punches, I will let them do their race. I won’t do a shit “.
That’s why I’m having a meeting with them on monday.
So that has been one of the “highlights” of these four weeks. Yes I was sarcastic when I wrote highlights..
Do you think I did wrong?
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› I’ve made a decision and realized stuff
Last week. The last week of my internship and I have mixed feelings.
This is my fourth week at my internship. It has been good, it has been bad. I have asked a lot of questions, I have learned alot about the “school”, a lot about myself and a lot of decisions.
It has not been all gold and diamonds during these weeks. Stuff has happen that has made me cry. Meetings with my teacher and supervisor (always at every internship so it’s nothing new).
I have eyebrows. I promise. Haha!
Positive about the internship
- The nickname I have gotten from one child; miima and ima (it’s a bit hard for the child to say Emma, so it’s ok)
- The children feel safe around me
- Children are so safe that they fall asleep in my lap (biggest reward ever)
- The laughs between the children and I, all the playful moments, laughter and just.. being silly.
- Got to know the children (on a teacher student level)
Negative about the internship
- I had lumbar after first week at the internship so I couldn’t attend two days that week but struggled myself to the internship the other three days.
- Problems.
- Tears.
- The lifting of the children, in and out of chairs, couch etc.
- Bending down
- Their small children height tables
- Not allowed to have your own fashion style..
What I realized and all the decisions
- Working with children 1-3 years old isn’t for me nor my body.
- I actually don’t want to work at this town’s preschools so I’m gonna apply for work in other towns.
- Do not tell about family situation when it comes to matching times etc (I’ll explain later)
- I will still continue to study to become a preschool teacher, but for first, before becoming a PS teacher, I’ll check around on other work areas that I’ll be allowed to work with when this is over.
Today is the second last day (tomorrow is my last day) and I have honestly mixed feelings. Even though it has been a lot of problems here, it’s the kids I will be missing. I have gotten to know 35 kids and some has become really attached with me (I try really hard to back off from them but they are clinging on me haha!)
Yesterday when I was going home at the end of my “shift” at the internship, sooo many children didn’t want me to go. They hugged me, spoke to me, joked with me and hugged me even more. So this will be the part I will be missing alot. The beautiful connection I have with the children.
Maybe I will work as extra here but I am not sure yet due to what has happened.
A bit of today on next page
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› Finally! Bring out the big guns!
Spring is officially here and i couldn’t be more happy!
Hello darlings! I hope you all are doing wonderful!
The winter is officially gone here, where I live. Well, we still have snow, but it’s melting away so fast! TIME TO BRING OUT THE BIG GUNS! (no weapon!) I can finally walk outside in my Crocs! Oh, how much I have been waiting on that! Yes... I use Crocs. Lol!
Moving in the shadows. That is one line that goes on repeat inside my head. That line, or “move in the shadows, babe.” I have seen too much of Charlotte Dobre on YouTube and even listened to her “podcast” on Spotify. Hilarious one! 10/10 recommend if you wanna laugh.
And moving in the shadows is exactly what am doing. What am doing I can not tell yet 🤫
Anyway, last time I posted here, I wrote about the new glasses. I have now been wearing them 24/7 (not really, but from the moment I wake up till the moment I go to sleep), and I can honestly say this will be a long two weeks to get my eyes used to them. Luckily I only have a week left-ish before I need to go back to those I bought the glasses from.
But so far I have noticed I see a little (just a teeny tiny bit) better with glasses on, but only when I see near/close, but I struggle a lot with looking a bit ahead. So hopefully it will get better soon, or else I just have to go back and have them fix new glasses in the glasses which I know will cost me. a lot of money. Sadly.
As you can see, the size of the glasses is massive compared to my sunglasses. It looks so funny but hey, I get alot of stares and looks but I dont care. I have no more energy to care about stuff like that.
✨️ working on my mental health and stepping away from negativity ✨️
I just noticed in my calender that in three weeks I have the four weeks long internship at a daycare (1-3 year old children). This time I will be at an other place due to problems on the last one. I was supposed to be a student, follow the supervisor and watch & learn but I got “thrown in” as a teacher instantly which I didn’t like (no problem at all but I didnt have experience in this working area). I used the motherly instincts that came automatically so I told my teacher what happened so she magically managed (after months!) finally found a new location for me.
Am I nervous? Yes. I don’t know how that location is. Will they accept me? Will they be rude towards me? Etc. Wouldn’t be the first place people would’ve been rude towards me there for this question.
So let’s hope that this time I will have a better experience 🤞🏻🤞🏻
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› The day after the accident.
Remember the accident that happend yesterday? Well.. it still hurts really bad. (warning for graphic picture below)
As I wrote in this post, I had an accident at my internship. Luckily no children were harmed or hurt when this happened.
When my son saw that I had a burn mark on my arm, he said “doctor” and made a sign. He went and got a chair to climb up on to get bandages from the cabinet. How sweet!
Unfortunately when I was removing the bandage after a while (it hurted really bad when it was on the burn mark), a piece of skin followed along. Oh my god the pain. I could barely sleep last night til today. Didn’t matter how I laid in the bed or so stuff always accidentally touched the wound.
This morning when I got up, I cleaned it a lot and remembered I had a bandage for surgery wounds in my cleaning closet in the first aid kit after my mother. So after I cleaned the wound some more I smacked it on.
In school I asked the teacher i had when I studied to become a nurse if I could have some more so I could change from the one I have on right now. The sticky part is stuck on the burning area around the mark where the skin came off so it hurts. Luckily I got some from my teacher!
I still can’t believe that this accident happened when I was ironing beads plates. Like.. I didnt even touch the iron when I was fixing to have them let go from the module and boom.. on my arm.I’m going back to the internship tomorrow and I will not touch any iron or anything. Nope. One burn mark is enough.