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› The Hug I Really Needed
I Went Into Town Angry and Came Home Almost Crying
Am I losing it? My mind?
I made the decision to not continue school because of everything that happened. I told the teacher. I told my classmates. And still, she sends out the next semester schedule and information about what books we need.
Like… why?
So now it has me thinking. Even though it would be a financial struggle for me, maybe I should continue after all.
Why?
Well… partly because I honestly want to piss the teacher and principal off. Yes, I am petty. I know that. But after everything they put me through, can you really blame me?
But there is another reason too.
If I do not have school or a job and I am home during after-school hours, my son will lose his after-school care placement even though he genuinely needs it for his social development, routines, and support.
So I am stuck in a really difficult situation right now.
Because the truth is: I *do* want this education. You all know that. But at the same time, the principal, the internship, and the teacher completely killed my sparkle for it.
And honestly? Staying home all day would probably mess up my head too.
Speaking of the internship…
Today when I went into town for a meeting, I got the biggest hug.
I was walking between the coffee shop windows and the small bus station when I suddenly heard knocking on the glass. So I turned around and there she was — a mom I used to work with — smiling and pointing toward a child inside the café.
The SECOND that little girl saw me, she started jumping up and down.
I rushed inside immediately.
And oh my God 😭
The second I got through the doors, she came RUNNING toward me so fast that I barely had time to lean down before she literally flew up onto me and wrapped herself around me like a tiny octopus.
She did NOT want to let go.
I have not seen her since my internship ended, so seeing her again honestly hit me right in the heart.
Then her mom told me something that almost made me cry right there in the café.
Apparently, this little girl asks almost every single day:
“Where is Emma? Is Emma coming?”
That completely broke my heart.
So I explained to her mom what actually happened during my internship and how I had been treated. Let us just say… she got MAD. Like genuinely angry on my behalf.
Meanwhile, my little octopus was still clinging onto me 😭
Unfortunately, we eventually had to separate because I had a meeting to get to and she was there with her mom and friends.
But wow…
I really needed that hug more than I realized.
Me and this child connected instantly from my very first day there (not the child connected to the accusations before anyone starts wondering), and seeing her again honestly made me remember why I loved this in the first place.
A small hug really can make the world feel softer sometimes.
And today, I really needed that softness.So this had me thinking as well.
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› The Audacity! How Are You Not Embarrassed?
THE AUDACITY. The sheer audacity of this woman to even think I would participate.
No. Absolutely not after everything she put me through.
For those of you who do not know about this whole situation, let me explain.
I was studying the first step toward becoming a preschool teacher. I had almost finished one full year and only had five months left when everything happened. During that time, I was doing my internship at a preschool.
Let me just say this: they completely screwed me over.
Dangerously false accusations were made against me, and neither the teacher, the principals (yes, two different principals), nor even their boss actually listened to my side of the story. Instead, I got kicked out because of it all.
And honestly? It still pisses me off.
Now to the actual audacity.
The teacher invited me to the last school day before summer break.
Yeah… no.
I am not doing that.
When I told some of my classmates what had actually happened, they were genuinely shocked. Meanwhile, the teacher kept saying things like:
“Emma, you can come if you want to. It would be good for you.”Good for me? Seriously?!
After everything that happened, it honestly just feels insulting. Like being spat in the face and then politely invited back to smile about it.
So no. I would honestly rather stay home, sleep, or go into the city and buy Pepsi Max instead.
I even wanted to reply to the invitation with a few gifs that I sent to my best friend/cousin afterward. Let us just say… the gifs had opinions. Strong ones.
But she told me:
“Be the bigger person.”
So fine. I will behave.
Still tempted, though.
And no, I will not share the gifs here either. Sorry. -
› What kind of education is this!? I am so confused
Sometimes I wonder what kind of class I’m studying.. Sockpuppets??
We had a theme.. Animals and staff in preschool. Make sockpuppets to have a theater to solve conflicts.. I didn’t want to make an adult so I made a weird looking bat. To my defense, the scissors to cut with was awful. If I had my tools that I had at home, it would be alot prettier. Lol. Now it looks.. I don’t know.. But it looks funny!
Sadly my teacher told me to do a sockpuppet you can use it to “talk”.. No. Those gives me creeps. Lol! Luckily, I can do what I want and no need to do anything else. Lol when it comes to crafting will mean.
Hi hello my beautiful souls! My life has been insanely dumb towards me there for I have been quiet. I actually made a recap post yesterday but didn’t post it due to me writing it on my way to school and I actually got “car sick” lol. Bus sick maybe is a better term. I will post it later though.
BUT HOW ARE YOU!? Suck a long time ago (January 22nd I think)
I apologize for my absence. Long story short (longer in an other post) mental health, new medicine, stopped instantly with my old medicine with out “stepping out” on it and a lot more.
Here I am though! Not mentally stable yet but slowly working towards it! One step at the time!
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› Chaotic start of 2026
The focus, the stress and the chaos has been real! So glad it’s over for a little bit now.
Hello, my beautiful people! I apologize for not blogging this year (yet), but I have been stressed like a maniac!
Remember when I told you guys that my mental health isn’t so good and that it has been declining? Still low at the moment, but between Christmas and this last Saturday (January 3rd) I have been maniacally stressing through assignments, sending them in, correcting them, chatting with teachers about grades, school, etc. Last night I made, hopefully, the last piece for this semester.
Grades will be decided on January 8, and my next semester starts on January 12th, so I am back to school soon! Crazy!
Let’s appriciate the fact that I have gotten some energy back so I could do some makeup again 🙌🏻
I know that one course with the awful teacher who name-called me and disrespected me a lot this semester is done 🙌🏻 I passed it! Thank God.
Long story short, I passed Kost & Hälsa (Food & Health). I don’t know about the rest, but I had 50 assignments to send in before January 1st. Due to my mental health, I couldn’t make them earlier, but in one week, I made them all. The focus, the discipline, and the live chats I was on (TikTok), talking with friends, made me continue. I finished them! Woho!
So for this semester, I made a promise to myself to never let this happen again! So pray for me and my mental health.
Two more semesters and I a m d o n e finally! I have also made a decision to take a break from school (I have been studying nonstop for ten years) to focus on myself and to work.
So yeah, that has been my reality for the past… weeks? But here I am.
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› Panic, but I think I made it, but it made my head go loco.
the hustle. the stress. the panic. the warnings. It made my head go loco.
But guess who managed to fix it? I DID!!!! I got a warning from my teacher that I was about to fail some classes, and this is the last week I have to do the last of the assignments. I have been sitting for several days for HOURS and just worked my butt off and sent them in. I now “only” have five left plus a presentation on Monday, and after that I am done for this first semester!
So I am extremely happy and actually surprised, plus in shock of myself. One week and I have sent in… I don’t know how many assignments. Is that my ADHD working? Better under pressure? I have no idea, but I can honestly say—next semester and the last one, I do NOT want to do this again!
So because of this, my head is now all loco! Hopefully I can take a small break this weekend and get some rest for my head but if I know myself.. I won’t.
This year my mental health has really declined so much, but I’m hopeful that next year will be a better year. I started with a new medicine a week ago for my ADHD (I requested it myself), and it has actually helped me get a bit more focus. Sure, I’m still tired, so I also got new sleeping pills that knock me completely out. So I haven’t taken them every day—two pills since last week. I will only take it when E is not home and I have nothing important the day after. Mama needs her sleep! That’s why I’m hopeful! Hopefully it will help me get better.
I have even started to do some makeup which has been superloooong time ago. Last Monday (15th) I had red eyelook and visited my last internship location before school. Let me tell you guys, the look on my kids / students. Oh my. They complimented me so much and that actually made me happy so I have been using makeup twice this week.
So I am a bit hopeful about 2026. I’m working hard to become myself. The bubbly, happy, laughing, goofy Emma.
Thank you everyone for reading. 🤍 As you know, my head is all messed up now, so I apologize that I haven’t answered any comments yet. I will when my head allows me. Even writing this post takes energy. Plus I have been at an education presentation today, and I actually fell asleep for a few seconds, so today is a tired day for me.