• Stress, Coffee and Performance

    15/12/2025 /

    Today is a coffee day! Stress, chaos, brain disconnected and a proud moment.

    Goodmorning my

    beautiful souls 🩷

    As you have read above, today / this morning havent been a good morning except watching my son preform in school (a tradition) now when it was Lucia last Saturday (13th December). He did so good! I had to cover my face though so I had like a burka (sorry! No disrespect!) so only my eyes was showing so I could watch him.

    If he would have seen me, he would have run to me instead of being with the kids on the “stage” preforming. He did so good. Unfortunately we weren’t allowed to take pictures during the performance so this picture below is taken before it started.

    Advent 🕯

    When the performance was at the end, they put music on loud so everyone including the audience (the parents) could join and dance with everyone and that’s when it became too much for E. He started to cover his ears, cry and have a meltdown so I removed my jacket from my face so he saw me and I went over to him. He cried so much. I was praising E so much, telling him that he was so good and how proud me and his dad is.

    We left instead of joining them for fika (a must in Sweden – cookies and beverages)  so E wouldn’t get all worked up and refusing to stay in school. So a few hugs and kisses and the teacher walked away with him.

    Now to the chaos part

    I AM SO CLUMPSY! To enter the school we need a passing card and I remembered i forgot mine at home in all stress that happened this morning to go in time so we wouldn’t miss E’s performance.

    So M dropped me off at the bus, I went home again to get it, repacked my bag for school, and quickly changed outfits. I don’t want to go to school with a dress and toooooo much showing. I noticed that when I came home! Ohmygod! Fortunately I had covered my body so it wasn’t showing for anyone.

    Now it’s a coffee morning!

    Due to all the stress, chaos etc I felt it was time for ice coffee and luckily I have many in cans so I dumped two cans in my mug. I havent had these for a long time so I was hesitant first but after first sip it was like angels sang in my ears.

    Coffee makes me tired so I can calm down a bit. ADHD and caffeine is a good combo if you wanna get tired and calm down.

    Now I am on my way to school- I will be approximately 2h and 20minutes late. But hey, i notified my teacher last night that I will be late and I messaged her explaining what was going on so she told me to take it easy and no stress. That felt so good. But unfortunately I have missed a lot but what to do? Today it was about my son and unfortunately this happened.

    I will blog later today—first school thought. Home and study, but I will fix it. I have wanted to blog so many times, but due to me being so tired and barely having anything happen, I didn’t, but now I’m going to get back again to the blogging. I will also answer your comments! I see you 🩷

    Currently playing in my ears; Cher – Stronger

    I mean, how fitting isn’t that? I have became obsessed with one song with Cher!

    It is sooooo good!! I listen to it on repeat!

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  • The number one song to pump up my confidence..

    30/07/2025 /

    .. its really funny how a song from a cartoon movie can hype me up and make me dance around outside without any care of people.

    I get in my zone when I hear this song and it goes on repeat on my phone and in my headphones.

    I even listen to the song in the shower. 
    I listen to the song everywhere

    I like them big, I like them chunky (chunky)
    I like them big, I like them plumpy (plumpy)
    I like them round, with something, something (something)
    They like my sound, they think I’m funky (funky)

    Big & Chunky with Will.i.Am. Such a funny and catchy song.

    I recommend this song if you have a bad day and need some fun and hype song.

    some funny part of the lyrics.

    I like them chunky, chunky, chunky
    Chunky, chunky, chunky (chunky)
    And plumpy, plumpy, plumpy
    Plumpy, plumpy, plumpy (plumpy)
    Chunky, chunky, chunky
    Chunky, chunky, chunky (chunky)
    And plumpy, plumpy, plumpy, plumpy

    Ain’t nothing wrong with loving chunky (chunky)
    I like them funny, I like them spunky (spunky)
    I like them witty, I like them smart (with brains)
    Girl, I like your big (what you say?)
    Your big ol’ heart, what?
    Girl, you’re crazy, she drive me crazy (crazy)
    I love my lady, she nice and shapely (shapely)
    She nice and spacey, take so much space up
    Like a big ol’ spaceship (ooh-woo), yeah, so gracious, yeah

    I mean, how can you not get hyped up with this song? As a plus size/overweight woman I get to hear all kind of nasty comments from people so this song is a fun song that actually hype my confidence up.

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  • I’m focused and determined to overcome my big fear

    21/08/2024 /

    One of my biggest fears is people staring at me. Im a big plus size person who has an illness called PCOS which makes me big and have harder time to lose weight. I have seen so many videos on instagram where big people has recorded themselves at the gym and people around is laughing, pointing etc. I have also seen when big people work out and trying really hard been secretly recorded and shared online. That’s a fear of mine. The laughs, pointing and secretly being recorded and shared online..

    So one of my goals is to try go to the gym 3 – 4 times a week, both to work on my health (and mental health) but also push myself onto situations that scares me. Trying to overcome the fear and get out of my comfort zone. It’s a hard thing but I’m trying and it’s even hard to workout when my husband is working out but I’m trying. Why do I think it’s hard? judgement. Even if it’s my husband.

    Only downside with me working out (other than the sweat is sweating)  is that every time I get a massive headache that last for hours. No matter how much water I drink. Today I drank 1,5 liter water at the gym trying to avoid the headache but it didn’t work. So I don’t know what to do to be honest to avoid the headache (other than stop going to the gym)

    Today’s session ☆☆☆ Treadmill; 60 minutes (highest lvl pace; 6) ● bike; 5 minutes (today my knee didn’t let me do bike).

    short session but it’s better than nothing. This week I have been to the gym twice (yesterday and today) and I will be back. lol! I’m forcing myself!

    Do you have any inspirational saying or quotes that can help me stay on track?

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