• Move in the shadows

    17/11/2025 /

    “Keep moving in the
    shadows babe’s”
    – Charlotte Dobre

    That is exactly what I am doing. I’m just moving in the shadows. Not telling anyone around me my plans, ideas, thoughts, etc. (those I haven’t told don’t know about my blog), and honestly, it feels so good. Not having to worry about judgments, arguments, etc.

    Keeping my weight loss journey, the education, and my mental health away from certain people makes life so much easier. Knowing how they would behave, react, laugh, be mean, etc., wouldn’t help me keep going.

    Today I have actually studied! Yes, it’s true! I have even sent in three assignments! Now I only need to do the rest of the assignments, and I will be on the same level as the class. Oh, who am I? Haha!

    Today has also been an energy-stealing-upsetting-mode day. This came a few hours after I studied. 

    I have cried. I became insecure about stuff, and I couldn’t shake it off. Millions of thoughts, tears, music and and screams inside my head. When I saw E’s face when opening the door and he said, “Hello, friend,” everything went away for a bit. I’m in bed, and it has come back, but this time, I’ll fight it.

    REGRETS

    I shouldn’t have eaten that sausage now before bed, or in general. Having toast (grain bread) and a slice of sausage on the toast made the calorie scale go above the limit for the day. Like, excuse me? Apparently, the bread I’m eating isn’t healthy either! Even though it says it is and the ingredients are healthy, I guess I was wrong. Also, my breakfast All-Bran flakes aren’t healthy either… So I need to Google what safe foods are and what’s OK to eat while on a weight loss journey.

    It’s Monday, and I’m just a few days in on the new weight loss path I’m on, so I’m not worried. I will try harder and learn more about nutrition, healthy and unhealthy foods, hidden sugars, etc., so I can achieve my goals. 

    Weight loss journey talk here

    Today I tried “normal” food—hash browns—for dinner, and knowing how much fat is in them and knowing how the pan would look after they had been in the oven, I wasn’t so tempted to eat them, but I had to eat. My blood sugar was getting low. Seeing how the pan looked like after they were done, I couldn’t eat more than three of them. I made five each (15 in total) due to them not being big (they are small).

    Today in list

    • power nap- 1h
    • studied for 3h
    • sent 3 assignments to my teachers
    • dinner > 3 hash browns w/ lingonberry jam (which I regret)
    • “Hello friend!” makes me smile every time
    • regrets
    • insecurities & tears

    I apologize for writing this post all jumpy on different subjects. My brain isn’t functioning right now due to a massive headache, so I’m actually just going to try to get some sleep before E comes to my bed.

    Goodnight pumpkins!

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  • Stalker, meetings, and leftover pizza

    27/03/2025 /

    Hello everyone! I hope you all are doing good! I’m currently in bed for the night, but I wanted to pop in here and say hello!

    Today has been pretty hectic due to meetings at hospital, monthly grocery shopping within a time limit which was very stressful, repack food before putting in freeze box,  study etc. it has been crazy today so now I’m finally in bed.

    Today’s quick dinner while study; left over pizza. Yesh not healthy but it was something over from last night when M and son ate pizza (I always take chicken salad). *snapchat & filter*

    Every class we get homework todo til next class and with my history of math etc, I struggle really hard.

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    Confession time; I am dead scared of going in school now and alone in town. Why? Because I have a massive stalker who goes to same school as me.

    Back story; I’ve met this man three times. Once at a busstop, once in school and now the third time in town when I was in town with my bestfriend. He snook up behind me and said “Hi Emma!” and I always answer when people talk to me so I said Hi back. After that, it went down hill. E even tried to help me get away from this man and after a while which felt like years he left so we could walk away. I was crying, very uncomfortable,  scared etc. This man has said he was COMING home to me, tried to kiss me, hug me, he touched me etc. More happened but this whole situation trigger me even when thinking of it (I’m shaking rn).

    So my school situation right now is that my teacher know (I texted him the same night it happened, he called and we spoke), the boss over the principal knows and has spoken with all teachers so they all are keeping eyes on me. Which feels very wrong to be honest but I really appreciate it. Yet I am dead scared of going to school  I even have classmates who ends the classes early to walk with me to the busstop. that’s crazy!

    Long story short; I have school five days a week and I really don’t wanna go but still go.

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    I hope you all have an amazing day and remember this; you are fantastic and amazing. Never let anyone else tell you something else. Always.. always be true to yourself.

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