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› New education and truth to be told, It’s really scary
Hello my loves! today has been a hectic day on the blog and real life. It just occurred to me that I start in school in 1O days! What!?
This time I am actually super nervous and scared. Just like when I did my nurse assistant education. This education is at the same school that I hate and where I did the N A E. My former high-school. I have so many bad bad memories from there.
I’m nervous due to new class, new teachers and my size in a school with 3K kids. Yes iam preparing mentally for bullying I just have to get used to it. Hard, yes but I must.
School supplies I need to buy; There is alot! Notebooks, pencils, rubbers, books, etc. Ohmy. Books is ordered for this semester though. But not for the other two but one step at the time.
I have totally forgotten what is needed when studying! Except when I did math, but now iam going back to a big school . Which bag? backpack? hand bag? shoulder bag? Style? dye my hair before that? makeup? Entry access card?
So much to think off! For fun I checked on Shein (no im not ordering there, just browsing to get ideas of what I need to buy) and I found a cute pencil case, bags etc but we all know how Shein is. I used to love them but not now after truth has come out.
What education am I doing this time? This time I am not gonna study so my grades gets better. I’m actually gonna study so I take one step closer to the education preschool teacher. I dont really know how to translate the education from Swedish to english other then I use google translator and that translation sounded so weird.. but (according to Google translator) Childcare training with focus on disabilities. .. sounds so weird. On swedish it’s Barnskötare med specialisering funktionsnedsättning.
When I’m done with this education I can work in preschool with special need kids. Student assistant to someone who needs extra help etc. I am so excited about that part.
How did I come up with this idea to become this? Well, I love teaching stuff. I hate standing infront of a whole class though but teaching one on one is no problem. Also I get a chance to learn more about my son’s diagnosis, what to do, how to communicate etc. So its a winwin for me.
Why the career change? honestly, the N.A.E was a promise to my mother before she passed. I have always struggled with what I actually wanted to work with in life. Even though I love taking care of elderly people, I have seen so much that has made me change my mind. It has given me some sort of trauma (not the elderly but the staff and no matter how much you tell the boss, nothing happens) so I decided to stop work at the hospital, senior homes etc.
With this, I can actually help and teach children. Be their helping hand on the same time as I get to learn more professionally about diagnoses etc.
Excited, nervous, terrified and happy. Mixed feelings about this but I think its because the education is held at my former high school.
Hopefully these feelings and thoughts will pass as soon as I start in school and gotten to know the people.
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› Are they really allowed to do this?
New week. New possibilities. New steps forward.
This weekend havent been si good to me. Removing more toxicness and negativity out of my life has really taken a toll on my mental health but hey, it might be worth it in the end? I don’t know.
Monday, November 4th, 2024. School. New classmates. Laughed at and massive feeling of disappointment.
Today started good in school but ended up me faking becoming sick so I could leave. First time I did this on this school. Why? A staff who helps students made fun of me and what I said. I got so mad I almost was about to explode but managed myself to stay calm and blame my migraine (I had migraine but is blamed that it became worse). I felt so disgusted, so disappointed, upset and really mad. I left the school so fast so I could cool off a bit away outside.
this happened infront of the two new classmates that started today!
We are grown people and they did this? What?! I can not believe it. and tomorrow it is school again.. hopefully i won’t see this person because iam not up for a confrontation to be honest.. not right now.
Are they staff who works with students (not a teacher) allowed to degrade a student like this? I think it calls degrade. I can be wrong, if so I apologize but I hope you get what I mean.
●●● Anyway, little rant about school today..
Tomorrow it’s Tuesday which means, school at the afternoon. Will probably bring my cameras with me so I can start learn the settings, tips and tricks again. Go for a walk and just be alone to breathe.
● This weekend havent been so good to me. Personally and mentally. Personally I can not talk about here but let me just say, that I have been hurt before by close people but this is in top 3 of the things the person has ever said to me. And that took a massive toll on my mental health. I cried and was hysterical because I couldn’t believe my eyes (the person wrote this so I read, not heard it) and wow I have been a mess but i take it as a sign ~ if that’s how the person feel, they are not meant to be in mine nor my son’s life . it’s that simple.
● My sister and her daughter had to go to an other city by helicopter last night. I can not write details but let me just say that iam terrified and scared. Worried and I don’t know all the emotions. My baby niece A has severe epilepsy and it has become worse. She’s 4 years old!
● I have made a Facebook group (yesterday) if you would like to join to see my artworks. My photographies. I’m gonna expand my equipment with time and hopefully be able to take better pictures 🥰 can’t wait!
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› It’s brutal but hey, I’m strong
*yawn* Goodmorning pumpkins! I hope you all had a good night sleep and feeling rested and alert ! I hope you all are doing good today!
I have been up since 3.45am *yawn* due to my son decided to wake up and ohmygod iam so tired. I’m currently in bed now after he went to school. But unfortunately I can just rest /sleep for an hour before I have to get up and get ready to go to the city. What we will do there? Well unfortunately I can not say (right now and i must ask permission first) but it is very important.
Maybe we have some time afterwards to take a short walk in the city before we have to head back home so we can pick E up from school.
It will be about 2h car ride in total and I love car rides but damn. In this condition, absolutely not.
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barely any sleep ~ been up since 3.45am ~ massive p.pain ~ and massive pain in my shoulder ● Sounds lovely eh?
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old pic of me but I kinda like it. lol ●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●
Today’s to do; ● meeting in the city ● take a few photos maybe while there ● study when back home ● clean ● take care of the laundry i did spontaneously last night after E fell asleep ●
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explanation about my shoulder; I worked as a care giver before (I think it calls that) and after my shift when I went back home, I slipped on ice under snow so I hurt my shoulder and I got some nerve damages and beginning of something called “frozen shoulder”. Which means I need a surgery to separate the nerves and fix the damage. But I’m scared of doing the surgery.
Have anyone of you done a surgery on/in a shoulder? If you have, please tell me how it started, how it felt after surgery, rehabilitation and if you have no problems or less of problems after.
I would really appreciate if you could tell me.