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› Chaotic Thoughts, Expensive Medicine & Pepsi Max Addiction
Not every day is productive — some days are just survival mode.
The struggle is real today. Another day has come to an end and I have actually been struggling a lot with my head. So many chaotic thoughts, mental struggle and all that shebang.
Today hasn’t been much other than I went to the drugstore and got my new medicine. Ridiculously expensive! 3907 SEK! That is 353€ and/or $402. This will be the price for me MONTHLY 💀 I almost passed out (not literally) when I saw the amount.
Holy h*ll!
I also went to the supermarket. I was only going there to buy French fries but I left the store with 8 bottles of Pepsi Max and the French fries.
I know – Emma… you just bought a lot of Pepsi Max..yes, yes I did but .. a girl can never have enough. Plus it was on sale/campaign so .. why not? 😅💀 I think i need to enter a rehab for Pepsi Max addiction. Like no joke (joking at the same time).
Oops.
Bulgaria trip; I have started to pack. I know, 3 weeks-ish till the bon voyage but me, ADHD and chaotic memory need to do this. But today I only fixed the travel bottles with essentials I need. I haven’t brought the suitcase up from the storage room yet but if I know myself, it will come up to my beloved bedroom within a few days. Oops! 😇
My mental struggle today has been that I haven’t had energy. Also talking with the doctor about my meds made me exhausted. So much information I had in a 3-minuteo call. Crazy. So I have a migraine right now – not only because of the phone call but the stress around everything. -
› The Audacity! How Are You Not Embarrassed?
THE AUDACITY. The sheer audacity of this woman to even think I would participate.
No. Absolutely not after everything she put me through.
For those of you who do not know about this whole situation, let me explain.
I was studying the first step toward becoming a preschool teacher. I had almost finished one full year and only had five months left when everything happened. During that time, I was doing my internship at a preschool.
Let me just say this: they completely screwed me over.
Dangerously false accusations were made against me, and neither the teacher, the principals (yes, two different principals), nor even their boss actually listened to my side of the story. Instead, I got kicked out because of it all.
And honestly? It still pisses me off.
Now to the actual audacity.
The teacher invited me to the last school day before summer break.
Yeah… no.
I am not doing that.
When I told some of my classmates what had actually happened, they were genuinely shocked. Meanwhile, the teacher kept saying things like:
“Emma, you can come if you want to. It would be good for you.”Good for me? Seriously?!
After everything that happened, it honestly just feels insulting. Like being spat in the face and then politely invited back to smile about it.
So no. I would honestly rather stay home, sleep, or go into the city and buy Pepsi Max instead.
I even wanted to reply to the invitation with a few gifs that I sent to my best friend/cousin afterward. Let us just say… the gifs had opinions. Strong ones.
But she told me:
“Be the bigger person.”
So fine. I will behave.
Still tempted, though.
And no, I will not share the gifs here either. Sorry. -
› Currently Running on Stress and Caffeine
Stress, chaos, and an unhealthy amount of caffeine. Oops!
Today’s summary:
● Hospital & meetings
● Phone calls
● Picking up medicine
● Grocery shopping
● Making dinner
● Stress
● Chaos
● Pepsi Max
● Bed and music ~ Warrior Shaman
That’s it.
That’s the Friday.Simple but chaotic.
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› Stress, Coffee and Performance
Today is a coffee day! Stress, chaos, brain disconnected and a proud moment.
Goodmorning my
beautiful souls 🩷
As you have read above, today / this morning havent been a good morning except watching my son preform in school (a tradition) now when it was Lucia last Saturday (13th December). He did so good! I had to cover my face though so I had like a burka (sorry! No disrespect!) so only my eyes was showing so I could watch him.
If he would have seen me, he would have run to me instead of being with the kids on the “stage” preforming. He did so good. Unfortunately we weren’t allowed to take pictures during the performance so this picture below is taken before it started.
Advent 🕯
When the performance was at the end, they put music on loud so everyone including the audience (the parents) could join and dance with everyone and that’s when it became too much for E. He started to cover his ears, cry and have a meltdown so I removed my jacket from my face so he saw me and I went over to him. He cried so much. I was praising E so much, telling him that he was so good and how proud me and his dad is.
We left instead of joining them for fika (a must in Sweden – cookies and beverages) so E wouldn’t get all worked up and refusing to stay in school. So a few hugs and kisses and the teacher walked away with him.
Now to the chaos part
I AM SO CLUMPSY! To enter the school we need a passing card and I remembered i forgot mine at home in all stress that happened this morning to go in time so we wouldn’t miss E’s performance.
So M dropped me off at the bus, I went home again to get it, repacked my bag for school, and quickly changed outfits. I don’t want to go to school with a dress and toooooo much showing. I noticed that when I came home! Ohmygod! Fortunately I had covered my body so it wasn’t showing for anyone.
Now it’s a coffee morning!
Due to all the stress, chaos etc I felt it was time for ice coffee and luckily I have many in cans so I dumped two cans in my mug. I havent had these for a long time so I was hesitant first but after first sip it was like angels sang in my ears.
Coffee makes me tired so I can calm down a bit. ADHD and caffeine is a good combo if you wanna get tired and calm down.
Now I am on my way to school- I will be approximately 2h and 20minutes late. But hey, i notified my teacher last night that I will be late and I messaged her explaining what was going on so she told me to take it easy and no stress. That felt so good. But unfortunately I have missed a lot but what to do? Today it was about my son and unfortunately this happened.
I will blog later today—first school thought. Home and study, but I will fix it. I have wanted to blog so many times, but due to me being so tired and barely having anything happen, I didn’t, but now I’m going to get back again to the blogging. I will also answer your comments! I see you 🩷
Currently playing in my ears; Cher – Stronger
I mean, how fitting isn’t that? I have became obsessed with one song with Cher!
It is sooooo good!! I listen to it on repeat!