why am I ashamed? because I have wanted to blog for a long long time but havent really had anything to blog about. My life has honestly been very down lately but I feel its getting a bit better.

I have started to “take care” of myself better, put myself first (well.. my son comes first but you get it). I have been distancing myself more from people due to have been surrounded by toxic people. Kinda detoxing from people so I can heal.

I even cut “friends” out from my life due to lies, scam etc. Scams? Lies? Yes, you read it right. Who I thought was my friend used me and manipulated me til I put my foot down and asked my best friend for help.

I even failed school due to my  son being sick so much so I missed out ~ ofcourse my son comes first! Don’t get me wrong ~ so I decided to stop attending or what to call, which means I failed school.

I have not picked up my cameras more than maybe twice since I was in Amsterdam. I lost the passion of using my cameras but have used my phone to take photos, which really havent been any “use” to show here on the blog nor Instagram.

I’ve stopped using social medias due to lost intests and feeling pressure to put on makeup, fix the esthetic feelings on photos etc just to please people. I was “like/following” hungry before but I realized .. whats the point? Why chase something that is no need when it comes to people who doesn’t care .. like genuinely cares about my content.. other than have a following of people who really actually care about my stuff  my photos, my thoughts etc. For me, that is more important. Having a connection with readers, followers etc.

So right now I’m focusing on myself while also trying to remember how to breathe and how to be alone instead of trying to be surrounded by people the whole time. The next two weeks will be a challenge for me. Switzerland , yes its time to go to Switzerland. I have honestly not been looking forward to it due to three reasons, 1. We are going with an other family that the husband/father I dislike.. like massively dislike. 2. Knowing the reality that im the one who’s gonna be the only parent on the trip while M will have fun (dont get me wrong, I love my son but sometimes I want to kinda.. walk around, breathe and just think by myself) 3. Switzerland is a very beautiful country from what I have googled and heard from people but its not really a country that “speaks” to me to come visit but I’m trying to think positive about it ~ first outside Sweden vacation with my son (even though the responsibilities will be 1000% on me) & new views to see & snap photos of ofcourse.

Today I have actually

✅️ emptied all the memory cards ✅️ Charged batteries to the cameras ✅️ Written a whole new list of our stuff to bring ✅️ Ordered stuff that is needed (medicines etc) ✅️ Packed down my camera gears

So now its only clothes, electronics etc that need to be packed down in the suitcase which I will do tomorrow while son is at school. Also a seperate bag for E’s stuff to have in car to entertain him when we arent at playgrounds on the road. I have also written a list of what to bring for E and the car ride . Yes it might sound ridiculous but I take precautions any time instead of his his tantrums (autistic & non verbal) and him being absolutely bored. Remind you that he is just seven years old so he ain’t getting electronics. What I have written on the list is just coloring pens, papers, toys, his stuffed animal, kickbike + helmet, football and few books. Something to keep him a bit occupied when not looking out through the windows which he loves when going on car rides.

Parents with children who travel , is there something I should think of?

This is the very first time we go outside Sweden and actually for a long car ride with E (son) so we dont really know but ofcourse im using my mama feelings but it feels like im missing something or somethings but dont know what.