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› I got sued by the internship for this….
So I had a meeting today.. With the headmaster or whatever you call it. The boss over the principal and school (preschools as well). I told the headmaster (operation manager, but that sounds odd) exactly what happened, how I have been treated, and how everything has been and is. What I and two witnesses saw/heard/experienced in the meeting, etc.
It felt like a positive meeting and the boss was very shocked and super concerned about the staff etc at the preschool and school.
She would start massive investigation about it all. Try fix so I can continue the education and remove the F’s I got in two subjects due to lies and made-up-stuff they all have said. She said everything sounded so odd and she also explained to me about the report. Yes I got sued at my internship for saying no to a child who abused another child.
I wrote this earlier but I tell again. I got sued by the staff and principal at my internship (preschool) because I said no to a child who smacked another child in the face with fists, and the two staff members who were outside (this happened during recess/playtime outside) had their backs towards the situation. I was 10-15 m (meters) from the situation, so of course I said no out loud. But yeah. Apparently I wasn’t allowed to say no to the child.
So automatically my teacher and the principal failed me in two subjects . Note that one of the subjects lessons didn’t start until last monday (11th of May) and my internship ended 30th of April. Still she has failed me. How?!
So hopefully this will be solved and I can continue to move in the shadows. Let’s see.
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› I need to stop with positivity
Why is life so unfair?
Today I left school crying. Tears falling down my cheeks like Niagara Falls. I’m broken. Heartbroken. When finally something good happens in my life, its always something that will go wrong.
Seven months left. That is all. Seven months and I would be done with my education. Unfortunately it ended today. Why? Because of the internship I was supposed to have in two weeks.
Let me take it from start; I have been in contact with my supervisor ONCE (per email. One answer from her) and I got the schedule for my times at the internship which I had to message back, explaining about E, his autism diagnosis, school situation etc with him. I thought we would be able to work things out.. Like it has been done on all other places I have had internships at.
Then my teacher got an email in class so she came up to me and read it. They will not be able to adjust the schedule and said a lot more. This broke me. The teacher left the class after a short amount of time (well, pretty much instantly after she read the message) and I could feel how close my tears was..
So I packed my stuff and left. I went home. I called Michaela and cried!
Note that the supervisor has NOT messaged me anything about this.
I really wanted this. I really wanted to be able to work with special need children and later on study to become a preschool teacher.
But if I don’t have an internship at a preschool, I will automatically fail and therefore they will kick me out. I can’t continue.
So Sadly, my education ends today unless a freaking miracle happen.
So I think from now on, I need to stop with thinking positive about things, stuff, happenings etc. Because when ever something good happens to me, something will always knock me down and ruin things.
Anyway, rant over. I’m going to bed. Hopefully I can get some sleep. Due to all emotions, etc., today, I fell asleep when I came home, and I know that will mess up my sleep tonight, so let’s hope. Haha!
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› Happy New month!!
Happy March! I can’t believe that it’s already march! It’s insane! I hope this month will treat me better than what February did. I wish you all a wonderful month!
(oops I forgot the headline – 10.47pm)
thank god for filter. The dark circles under my eyes is a no joke. I really look like a raccoon.
I thought I would do a small little recap of February (of things I remember) just to have for fun something to look back at.
Personal; working on my mental health × have had ups and downs × still working on the medicines and trying to find the right one.
School; sock puppets × exams × me being/acting like a troublemaker (when we pretended to be toddlers in preschool) × painted my face with color during one of the classes × burned my fingers multiple times when crafting
February is a horrible month here in Sweden when it’s actually super common and “typical February” that many become sick. First me for a week and then my son for a week. So that haa been mostly our month. M has actually been sick as well so we all three has been ill.
Fun stuff; This month I have actually been with E a lot more. Laughs, talking crazy accents that took me days to come out from. Traveled to another town over the day to change location a bit. Eaten food at restaurant- well, a pizza shop. I always take burger and E takes kebab.
I have also been social training my son by going on a bus to a big supermarket. It went so, so well! So proud of him! Earlier I (still am) was nervous, scared, and anxious about trying to go out somewhere else with E due to the fact that I never knew when the explosion of emotions would happen. But these two times went super well! We also ate burgers at the pizza shop. He was so well-behaved. So proud! Sure, he tested me like any other child, but overall, I’m super proud!
That was a small little recap of my February. What is your recap?
The time is currently 10.45pm and I’m writing this in bed while listening to calm / soft music which normally makes me irritated etc but this Playlist is ok. Tomorrow is school and I hope I manage to get up in the morning to be able to go.
Alarm goes off in.. 6 hours ish.
So I’m going to say goodnight for now and thank you all so so much for sticking around, checking in, and showing love. ♡
Much love ❤️
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› Chaos, paint on face, volcano and.. troublemaker
First day back after two weeks!
Oh my god, my head is tired! I went to school today for the first time after being home for two weeks, and it really takes on my energy and head. Don’t worry, the father had a day off from work, so he was home taking care of E.
Today we did a volcano that I have only seen in movies and series—a VOLCANO! Well, I didn’t participate in the design of making it, etc., but I participated today as a “teacher,” showing kindergarten kids what happens if you mix different ingredients, etc. I barely did any talking because I was focused on taking videos and pictures because it was so much fun! And something new!
When a group was giving their presentations, the rest of us had to pretend to be kindergarten children, and if you know me, I went ALL IN. Everyone was those quiet, non-troublemaker, so I was the loudest, troublemaker child. Haha!
Heck, I even painted on my face because some kids do that. I really went all in on the character.
Just a little bit of paint, and oh my god, the reaction my skin got after! Burning, itching, and awful. So when I came home, I cleaned it better (only used soap and water in school) with facial cleaning water and put moisturizer on.
Due to the bad lightning and me trying to fix the lightning of the picture, the black mooshed out paint doesn’t show.
Another group gave us assignments to make animals of toilet paper rolls, and I did a bat, but during lunch break I was bored, so I tried to make a spider and paint it. I will take a picture tomorrow if it. I didn’t finish any of them though, haha! I didn’t have time!
The third group had dancing, etc. We got to dance to different songs and try yoga positions, and oh my god, I now know I am old when my hip and arm hurt. Lol!
So; First making animals of paper rolls. Then our volcano experiment and last dance time.
This was my Monday. Crazy fun, but oh my, the energy is gone on me and the headache. No joke! Haha! But it was a fun day in school, but I realized that I have missed so many fun things they have done for these past two weeks.
I hope you all have / had a wonderful Monday!
Much love ♡
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› Wow I actually smashed it! I’m shocked!
First week of school for this semester and I have already smashed it! On a positive way.
Yes I cussed on the picture, therefor the blurred words. Sorry, but I am so happy!
I have been to school every day this week, and I am honestly proud of myself! Even today, with no sleep (when writing this post, I have been up for 30+ h. I don’t know why I haven’t been able to sleep.) but I smashed it.
This week we have had crafts on one class ~ make something (we had to think preschoolers) that they could tell us their feelings. Well, the class used papertowels rolls, some papers etc.. Me? I made an elephant in “3d”. First time I ever done one and honestly, I don’t like it. It’s not done yet though. It miss facial expressions etc.
I’m removing the black strings when they have helped me give shapes. And yes… It’s embarrassing, but hey, at least I did something else, and my teacher likes it. A lot. Ph, the clay thing next to it… I have also made that, but before holiday break. I didn’t have my tools, so it looks awful. Fun fact: I used to build and make a lot of things in clay and paint them. Roses, animals, statues, etc. I was so detailed on things, but sadly I lost interest in doing it, but I do kinda miss it.
Back to school week
Today I had an exam, and I smashed it. I got an A. 15 out of 17. One box was missed, so if I had answered that one (and not missed it), I would have had 16 out of 17 points instead. But it’s ok. I’m pretty ok with today’s result.
I have also sent assignments/essays to my teacher, so I’m actually a bit ahead of the class. Let’s hope that continues.
Slayed two makeup looks this week!
I am actually shocked! I have had two makeup looks in school this week, and I am so happy and proud of myself that I had that energy to do it. Making myself feel a little bit more alive when out in public. Lol! I will show pictures later, in an other post though
No sleep, yeah… I’m a walking zombie at the moment.
I couldn’t sleep. I had my usual things (sleeping pills, and no, I’m not ashamed of admitting that). After all, I’m keeping the blog raw and authentic, but they didn’t work. Why? I don’t know. So while I was awake, I studied, watched YouTube, did makeup, packed a bag, etc. Note that I was home alone, so I didn’t wake anyone up.
I pray to God I will be able to sleep tonight. I am so tired, but my brain is in full speed. Eyes are heavy, body aching. Feels like my body is about to collapse so let’s pray and hope that I will fall asleep tonight.
This weekend will test me if I don’t get any sleep. Studies, laundry, cleaning, cooking, household stuff, son being home (pray that he will be in good mood this weekend) and save the last makeup I have.
The makeup > E has currently ruined / destroyed a massive eyeshadow palette with neon colors that I finally started to use again. It makes me sad but, I’m not mad at him. Sure im said about my palette but im not mad. He is into makeup and that makes me happy, but I do wish he could stop use mine and use his own that I have for him. Yes. I have given my son eyeshadow palette of his own. One from my collection that I haven’t used. Daddy doesn’t approve but hey, im not judging and iam supporting my son to try new things so let’s go!
I’m actually going to wrap this post up for now, but I will be back soon. Much love, my beautiful souls 🤍