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Giant nursery crib? Til..this?
Oh, I have forgotten to show you guys! Proud mama bear moment!
If you guys remember this post [here] my son now officially a big boy!
Earlier he had a bed that we’ve been renting from the hospital (in the post), and my best friend/godmother to E said it looked like a giant crib (those beds for babies), and I never thought of that before, but after she said that, I couldn’t unsee it.
The bed that we have had since he was .. three years old I think. We rented it due to E being an run awayer in the middle of the night. One time I found him (this was before this bed) at the front door in my apartment complex.. in the middle of the night. Yes I had locked the door.
I spoke with the CPS about the bed (due to safety reasons, etc.) together with the hospital, and I got approved. Sure, I didn’t need to talk to them, but due to me having a child with special needs… People don’t understand how it is, so yeah. I have been involved with them ever since so I figured out it would be better to have a true, straight communication with them. Anyway, they said yes, so we ordered it. After having gotten the bed, E felt so safe. He had his own place. I made it into a fort sometimes so he could have his own little “house” to be in, and he loved it.
Note this this bed also had a beamer you could have over the closed doors (kinda lock him in) and that was approved as well. Yes I am keeping my blog raw and authentic so the truth is being told .
Fast forward to now … He wasn’t home, and the bed was waiting to get picked up! So I unscrewed the whole entire bed and had M help me carry it down to the basement. It stood in the basement until the guys from the hospital-special-team-helping-thing came and picked it up. The past weekend (12th & 13th of December) we worked hard to get every piece together.
This Wednesday (17th) E came home and he has been sleeping in it every night. I am so proud of him.
The boy who was super happy and excited. Jumped right into bed after seeing it and was ready to go to sleep. Giving goodnight kisses and saying goodnight.. at 5pm.. That’s how excited he got.
So cute but yeah. He is now a big boy and a big boy need a big boy bed.
The green alien is from Ikea and the gnome / Santa is from Jysk – an scandinavian home/sleeping department store or what to call it.
I do not know why all the text is in the caption of the media/pictures. I tried to fix it, but it doesn’t work, so I’m going to leave it like it is.
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Stress, Coffee and Performance
Today is a coffee day! Stress, chaos, brain disconnected and a proud moment.
Goodmorning my
beautiful souls 🩷
As you have read above, today / this morning havent been a good morning except watching my son preform in school (a tradition) now when it was Lucia last Saturday (13th December). He did so good! I had to cover my face though so I had like a burka (sorry! No disrespect!) so only my eyes was showing so I could watch him.
If he would have seen me, he would have run to me instead of being with the kids on the “stage” preforming. He did so good. Unfortunately we weren’t allowed to take pictures during the performance so this picture below is taken before it started.
Advent 🕯
When the performance was at the end, they put music on loud so everyone including the audience (the parents) could join and dance with everyone and that’s when it became too much for E. He started to cover his ears, cry and have a meltdown so I removed my jacket from my face so he saw me and I went over to him. He cried so much. I was praising E so much, telling him that he was so good and how proud me and his dad is.
We left instead of joining them for fika (a must in Sweden – cookies and beverages) so E wouldn’t get all worked up and refusing to stay in school. So a few hugs and kisses and the teacher walked away with him.
Now to the chaos part
I AM SO CLUMPSY! To enter the school we need a passing card and I remembered i forgot mine at home in all stress that happened this morning to go in time so we wouldn’t miss E’s performance.
So M dropped me off at the bus, I went home again to get it, repacked my bag for school, and quickly changed outfits. I don’t want to go to school with a dress and toooooo much showing. I noticed that when I came home! Ohmygod! Fortunately I had covered my body so it wasn’t showing for anyone.
Now it’s a coffee morning!
Due to all the stress, chaos etc I felt it was time for ice coffee and luckily I have many in cans so I dumped two cans in my mug. I havent had these for a long time so I was hesitant first but after first sip it was like angels sang in my ears.
Coffee makes me tired so I can calm down a bit. ADHD and caffeine is a good combo if you wanna get tired and calm down.
Now I am on my way to school- I will be approximately 2h and 20minutes late. But hey, i notified my teacher last night that I will be late and I messaged her explaining what was going on so she told me to take it easy and no stress. That felt so good. But unfortunately I have missed a lot but what to do? Today it was about my son and unfortunately this happened.
I will blog later today—first school thought. Home and study, but I will fix it. I have wanted to blog so many times, but due to me being so tired and barely having anything happen, I didn’t, but now I’m going to get back again to the blogging. I will also answer your comments! I see you 🩷
Currently playing in my ears; Cher – Stronger
I mean, how fitting isn’t that? I have became obsessed with one song with Cher!
It is sooooo good!! I listen to it on repeat!
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First I was afraid, then I was petrified. AND It was very First time for him!
It’s been a few days since I blogged last time. Yes, I have had the blog constantly on my mind: “I must blog! I must do that, do this, write that, write this.” But honestly, I haven’t had the energy.
Lately my energy has been declining, so I think my iron in my blood is low again, so I need another round of infusion.
I fall asleep everywhere, and I mean everywhere, such as in school, on the sofa, on chairs, etc. It’s embarrassing, and it makes me mad. The last time I had this problem was in like 2021 or something.
I haven’t been able to go to school and participate well, and that stresses me out. The assignments are piling up, and I have like no energy to sit in front of the computer, let alone to study. It’s frustrating to be honest.
Even though I sleep (as much as possible at night when the headache/migraine is calm), I still go back to bed after I have my son sent off to school, or I fall asleep later in the evening.
Yes, I have tried to get a doctor’s appointment to get blood samples taken for iron but also for my pancreas and blood sugar, but no success. No one wants to help me. So that is frustrating me as well.
Ok, enough about negativity– yes I feel it became a lot of negativity but this has been bothering me so much lately.
Last week I went to the dentist and finally picked up my new mouth guard even though I was terrified of using one. Why? I had one when I was 15/16 and slept with it for one night, and the day after I woke up completely deaf in my right ear. It took 2 of my siblings plus my mom using forks to get that mouth guard off my teeth, and one of my siblings screamed right in my ear, and I couldn’t hear anything.
That’s why I am terrified, but to my surprise, I actually slept with it—the night after. I used it a lot during the day and evening to get used to it and also to see if my hearing gets affected again. NOPE! Hallelujah!
Tonight (Tuesday, 11th November) will be the 5th night I have it on when I’m sleeping. Sure, let me be honest, I wake up every morning still terrified about my hearing but slowly getting used to wearing it.
Does it give me ache in jaws and head? Yes. Massively.
Is it worth it? Hopefully.
I got this for two/three reasons. 1. I grind my teeth when I’m sleeping, apparently. I don’t know. 2. To help relax my jaw muscles 3. To help with my headaches/migraines. So far? No clue if it works. I haven’t noticed a difference, but I’m still going to use it.
Birthday Party!
E was invited to his very first birthday party and I couldn’t be happier. Ofcourse I was there as well to help if needed (or support my son in meltdowns etc) but it all went so good. I actually cried of happiness!
At first I was (of course. As an autism mother you are always on your toes) nervous but also excited! My baby is going on his first birthday party.
Off to the bus stop we go!!
Safety first! That applies to the backpack as well!
Washing machine was very interesting!
Cooking and doing laundry.
Coloring & cutting
Fun!
On our way back home.
I can honestly say, I am super proud of E. No meltdowns. No scream. Curious and didn’t want to listen—yeah, of course. New place, new people—new impressions.
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Choose your battles.
Good morning, my beautiful people! I hope you all are doing well. I’m currently back home. Was supposed to get E to school, but he had tantrums outside, so he woke the neighbors, so they were looking through their blinds.
I finally managed to get us back home (tantrum for 40 minutes outside with no luck), so today he will be home from school. With lack of sleep and this morning, I can honestly say, I am tired.
Yes, I am keeping my life in the blog raw and authentic. I’m not going to sugarcoat the reality. I’m sharing my life because I know I have other autistic families who read the blog, and we know the struggles sometimes. Some days are good, and some days are a bit of a struggle. It’s the reality of a family with a person who has special needs.
So today will be a day to stay home. This has started to happen daily now, so I have notified the school what’s going on and that we will be at school when the situation is calm and better. They are ok with that. Sadly, today will be a stay-at-home day.
So this was my morning. How is your morning?
Choose your battles.
~ Unknown
No, I do not have pictures of the situation and what happened. My focus is to calm the situation, and taking photos/videos during a breakdown is nothing I do.
Reason for this morning’s meltdown: bus.My son loves busses and these mornings for the past few days has been very difficult. He wants to go for a ride in the buses, but we don’t need to take the bus to the school. The situation escalates every time, but what can I do? All I can do is handle the situations by remaining calm, try to calm down the situations, and keep my son safe.
“Autism doesn’t come with an instruction guide. It comes with a family who will never give up.”
~ Kerry Magro
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A Good Communication With People For Your Autistic Child. Super Important!
With an autistic child comes challenges but that doesn’t stop us.
My son wanted to go to the grocery store so off we went. Social training for him is extremely important after the preschools he has attended isolated him completely from other children etc so now we are working hard so he can be accepted by the society and to make him (most important) to grow up to a wonderful man.
We do not only social training around people. We also train and learn about safety when walking outside. To look at both ways before crossing the road. To stay aware of the surroundings and people.
We also do daily activities at home such as learning how to learn to clean, how to do laundry, do the dishes and sometimes how to make dinner/lunch (Only stir though. I’m still scared when it comes to the stove and oven).
My son is obsessed with laundry machines and can almost move to the laundry room just to sit infront of them and look. He knows how to load and unload, where and how much detergent to apply, how to start etc. He has grown so much as a person and embracing his abilities and be there as a support makes him more independent.
Throw trash, grocery store & reward
When we go to the store, we always throw trash (even if we dont have trash we go there) so he knows where to throw the trash correctly. Recycling and how it works.
1 / throw trash
2 / grocery store & remain calm
3 / reward
At the grocery store today he didn’t have a tough moment. It went on smoothly. No meltdowns, no nothing. I was so (still am!) proud. I dont know about you but when my son is calm, behaving and is kind he gets a reward. This time was an ice cream.
Normally it is very loud noises, children screaming and alot of people so when E is in his zone to grab stuff and add in the cart, he don’t really see and is careful. I always apologize to people if accidents happen or if he isn’t careful. I also explain that he has autism and we are socializing training. 99.9% of the people is so understanding. Thank you so so much!
I am also very strict on how to talk to people and how to respect everyone (even workers, doesn’t matter which job they have) so after we have paid (yes he pay with my card and learns that as well) and we exit the store, I always say “Bye! thank you!” and my son has heard me say that so many times so he tries to say the same (sometimes you can hear the words, sometimes its just the sound that you can make out what he is saying) thing as me. Today he actually said, clearly “Thank you so much!” and a woman with two children said “aaaw” and smiled.
Everyone who works at the grocery store (and many in the area we live in) knows about my son, how he works, how to handle situations with me if it gets too much. I have explained everything and they are so understanding (the staff at the store).
When E said “thank you so much”, the woman in check out got so excited and happy so she said “you are so welcome E!” . That makes my heart so happy. The acceptance, the understanding and that they have heard plus seen how everything works.
I am grateful that I moved here. Sure the preschool was awful for my son but after he started school, he has grown so much. If we lived where we did before, this development would never have happened.
Mind you that not every time goes wonderful. sometimes it’s completely horrible, I’m not gonna lie and sugar coat things. Sometimes E has ran out from the store with items when he has been super overwhelmed with emotions and it has been too much for him. The staff is understanding and is OK that those situations happens. They know I always pay, either the same day later (depending what the time is during the day) or the day after. I always call when I come home after situations like that and tell them what items was taken and when I’ll come to the store and pay. The fact that they trust me so much makes me forever feel grateful for them. I also always take pictures of the items or video where I explain what happened and which items it is. Never had a problem and the “team work” between us and the staff is amazing.
I am so happy and proud of myself that I took the decision to move from our old place to this new home.