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› Adventure plans? Phobias?
Goodmorning / goodafternoon / good evening my beautiful sunflowers! I hope you all are doing well today! I’m fine, just tired. Had nightmare last night mixed with migraine.
The nightmare was about (this actually happened irl) the carlane we were in for 4 hours and what we saw when passing it. There was a massive accident that had happen and as we drove by it, we saw the front of the car to windshield was under a truck and beside that car was a body bag with a person in. So I had flashbacks to that. Scary situation but im glad E didn’t see it. I have actually never seen a body bag before irl.. And I have worked at hospital and seniors homes.. it was scary.
Anyway, enough about that flashback. We are currently on our way to do some adventure. We spoke about going to the Sweden’s “Golden Gate Bridge” but I dont know anymore. We’ll see what happens.
I have been to that bridge once in my life and I cried and had panic the whole way over. I am very scared and have phobias for bridges. How i got that phobia? When I was younger I saw a clip, I dont know if it was from a news station in America or someone had recorded it, of the Golden Gate Bridge (or maybe an other Bridge that looked similar) how the storm was making it swing back and forth and the road up and down. I think I was five when I saw that and that phobia has been stuck ever since. So going over bridges now and especially with my son with me, I have to stay calm even though I have panic inside of me.
Do you have any phobias?
So we’ll see how this goes if we go there. If we go there I’ll take pictures ofcourse. It’s very beautiful there. Nature, water and the bridge. Mind blowing how people can build something like that! I dont understand how to be honest but again, im not a person who works with that.
I will blog later. I’m gonna try become more active here.
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› Its June, I am ashamed and it’s soon time to go.
why am I ashamed? because I have wanted to blog for a long long time but havent really had anything to blog about. My life has honestly been very down lately but I feel its getting a bit better.
I have started to “take care” of myself better, put myself first (well.. my son comes first but you get it). I have been distancing myself more from people due to have been surrounded by toxic people. Kinda detoxing from people so I can heal.
I even cut “friends” out from my life due to lies, scam etc. Scams? Lies? Yes, you read it right. Who I thought was my friend used me and manipulated me til I put my foot down and asked my best friend for help.
I even failed school due to my son being sick so much so I missed out ~ ofcourse my son comes first! Don’t get me wrong ~ so I decided to stop attending or what to call, which means I failed school.
I have not picked up my cameras more than maybe twice since I was in Amsterdam. I lost the passion of using my cameras but have used my phone to take photos, which really havent been any “use” to show here on the blog nor Instagram.
I’ve stopped using social medias due to lost intests and feeling pressure to put on makeup, fix the esthetic feelings on photos etc just to please people. I was “like/following” hungry before but I realized .. whats the point? Why chase something that is no need when it comes to people who doesn’t care .. like genuinely cares about my content.. other than have a following of people who really actually care about my stuff my photos, my thoughts etc. For me, that is more important. Having a connection with readers, followers etc.
So right now I’m focusing on myself while also trying to remember how to breathe and how to be alone instead of trying to be surrounded by people the whole time. The next two weeks will be a challenge for me. Switzerland , yes its time to go to Switzerland. I have honestly not been looking forward to it due to three reasons, 1. We are going with an other family that the husband/father I dislike.. like massively dislike. 2. Knowing the reality that im the one who’s gonna be the only parent on the trip while M will have fun (dont get me wrong, I love my son but sometimes I want to kinda.. walk around, breathe and just think by myself) 3. Switzerland is a very beautiful country from what I have googled and heard from people but its not really a country that “speaks” to me to come visit but I’m trying to think positive about it ~ first outside Sweden vacation with my son (even though the responsibilities will be 1000% on me) & new views to see & snap photos of ofcourse.
Today I have actually
✅️ emptied all the memory cards ✅️ Charged batteries to the cameras ✅️ Written a whole new list of our stuff to bring ✅️ Ordered stuff that is needed (medicines etc) ✅️ Packed down my camera gears
So now its only clothes, electronics etc that need to be packed down in the suitcase which I will do tomorrow while son is at school. Also a seperate bag for E’s stuff to have in car to entertain him when we arent at playgrounds on the road. I have also written a list of what to bring for E and the car ride . Yes it might sound ridiculous but I take precautions any time instead of his his tantrums (autistic & non verbal) and him being absolutely bored. Remind you that he is just seven years old so he ain’t getting electronics. What I have written on the list is just coloring pens, papers, toys, his stuffed animal, kickbike + helmet, football and few books. Something to keep him a bit occupied when not looking out through the windows which he loves when going on car rides.
Parents with children who travel , is there something I should think of?
This is the very first time we go outside Sweden and actually for a long car ride with E (son) so we dont really know but ofcourse im using my mama feelings but it feels like im missing something or somethings but dont know what.
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› Countdown has started and iam in my maniac mode of planning
Countdown has started.. School is soon over and our family vacation is coming up.
Unfortunately i have missed too much in school, I have to re-study the course again. It sucks but what to do? My son has been sick a lot lately which has made me missed so many classes of the course so I decided to study it again from the beginning. Apparently it is a normal situation for parents who studies this course so I honestly don’t feel ashamed. Math isn’t really my subject I can master but last time I managed to go to school I almost broke down due to how much I have missed and how far ahead the others are compared to where iam so I at that class restarted my book again, told my teacher and it was fine.
Countdowns; 21 days til course is over (school) for this semester • 52 days til the vacation.
I can finally tell you guys about the vacation. I’m honestly nervous. It is the first time we will ever go on a vacation this way with our son. As you might know , our son has autism 3 and is non-verbal so going to Switzerland by car will be a challenge.
How come Switzerland? We honestly it was not my idea. We are actually going there with an other family who my husband knows and they suggested Switzerland. For me, I have no idea what to do there. Like I have never ever had any thoughts of going there but here we go. So iam in full massive planning maniac mode right now. Reading online about tips, ideas, recommendations etc on how to travel with a child with special needs. It is so hard!
Do you have any ideas? recommendations? What to think of and what not to do, when it comes to travel by car with a child who has special needs?
This is all new to me honestly. I am very nervous to go this far by car with our son but I am planning where to stop and finding places for E to be able to run and play around at on our trip to Switzerland. Play areas, food stops, adventure lands etc.
imagine, we are going through the whole entire Sweden, Through Denmark and through Germany to go to Switzerland. We are also planning on going over to Italy etc for day trip and so if possible. A lot needs to be planned and Iam in full maniac mode of planning to make the trip smooth, fixing passports (done), lists, bags, equipment etc.
Not easy to go anywhere with a special need child . it’s scary but on same time iam excited.
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› A happy little boy who finally can..
.. ride his kickbike. The pure happiness when we told him that he now could ride on his kickbike because they have brushed the stones away.
We went to a location to let him roam freely on his kickbike ~ ofcourse we kept an eye on him. The laughter, the smiles, the focus and everything. Made my heart jump with joy.
His dad wanted to try the kickbike as well (middle picture) and first E let him but wooh, the speed he had to stop M (dad) from riding it. Lol! Hilarious!
We stopped by a store and bought ice cream as well. It was a fun little family day for a while before M had to go to work for a second time that day.
ofcourse I blurry my son’s face due to privacy and respect for my son. I can not wait to have many more family days like this in the future. I know now we gonna have soooo many when the spring is finally here and soon summer. We love going on car rides to see the nature, sit outside and have picnics etcetera.
What is your favorite thing about Spring?
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› Spring Mood and mental health.
How are you guys? Happy Easter! I know I’m late but we still celebrate Easter in Sweden. Well we don’t celebrate it but many swedes do. Honestly I don’t know how to celebrate Easter except go out and “trick or treat” as you do on Halloween but instead saying “trick or treat” you say “Happy Easter” and receive candy or money. Weird for me and no I’m not taking my son out doing that.
Anyway, let’s continue.
It is official.. Spring is here in Sweden!! The other day as I walked to the bus from school, a little small ladybug flew and sat on my shirt. I noticed it when I was standing at the busstop.
one little bug can make a person happy. It’s officially spring and summer is on its way! So hard to believe it though. Long cold, freezing cold winter is finally over for this time.
I cant wait to the sun, warmth, being able to sunbathing, go for long long walks again. Such a motivation.
I also feel that my mental health is getting a bit better. It is still there but a lot better. Working hard towards recovery is a long way but I have managed to move a few steps forward which makes me so happy. Having bad days is normal though for people and I still have them but I think I’m out of the deepest funk that I have been in. Woho.
Goals for the Spring season; Get better mentally • try lose some weight • work hard in school even though I know im gonna fail this semester but atleast I’m trying • try to become the Emma I use to be ●● oh, start planning for the vacation! So much to plan when traveling with an autistic child.
Do you have any plans for the Spring season?