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› Few Glimpses of My Weekend
Just snapshots and relaxing.
Hello my beautiful flowers! I hope you all are doing good! How are you?
How has your weekend been? What have you been up to? Let me know. I’m honestly curious!
Can you believe that half of June has already passed? How insane is that?
Happy Emma! Strawberry season is finally here!
My weekend has been pretty chill. I have had cravings for strawberries and apples, and I am so happy because it is summer season here in Sweden, which means… STRAWBERRY SEASON!
I went out in a massive rainstorm just to buy strawberries and apples. Was it worth it? Yes.
This weekend I was also sick for a while, which resulted in me not getting any sleep that night. I wrote about it in this post.
Luckily, it was only that one night.
Today I have been deep cleaning my apartment and also hammered a chair together, which resulted in a busted nail (a blue nail), so I have surgery tape around it now to hopefully prevent the nail from falling off.
What else? Not much.
I will let the snapshots do the talking instead because my head is pretty empty right now. I was on a TikTok live earlier and it was a crazy moment. Lol!
Elephants are my favorite animal ❤️. 
This view. 
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› 80s/90s Vibes in a Very Expensive World
A few snapshots were taken and edited to make them look like they were shot with a disposable camera.
I tried editing these photos to make them look like I took them with a disposable camera/film camera. I’m in that era right now where I want pictures to have that 80s/90s vibe, you know? That vintage (wow, now I feel old!) vision, feeling, and look.
I still have a lot to work on, but hey, you have to start somewhere, right? I’m still looking for a good editing app for my phone where I can get edits exactly like that.
● Grocery shopping
● An event is happening where we live
● The stress from all the noise and E’s struggles with loud sounds
● SUPER EXPENSIVE!
Even though the Swedish government officially announced that taxes and food prices would go down starting April 1st to make everyday necessities cheaper… well… this bag that my son and I carried home from the store cost me $80. $80!! That is freaking insane!
● Bad habits stuff
● Pepsi Max
● A small piece of meat
● French fries
● Potato salad
● Two cakes for Sweden’s National Day celebration
● One can of corn
● A small tub of roasted onions
● Popcorn
That’s it. Those were the items. And keep in mind that they were on sale, meaning they were cheaper because of the occasion.
Back in the 90s, this probably would’ve cost around $25 or something, but $80!? It’s unbelievable how money-hungry the government is. It’s disgusting. And these aren’t even proper everyday necessities (well, maybe not what I bought specifically, but you know what I mean).
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The event happening here is something they do every year. Face painting, candy fishing, politics, running marathons, etc. There’s a lot going on, and it’s SO LOUD. That’s why grocery shopping (aka “getting robbed” shopping!) was such a challenge for me—well, mostly for E—but we made it through. Thank God.
Now we’re home, about to do laundry and relax. Maybe have a little spa time. Put rice water in my hair and do some hair masks. Hm, lovely, but we’ll see how much energy I have left after walking up and down 30 steps every single time. Lol.
Yes, I’m complaining right now, and no, I am not sugarcoating that I have a bad habit. -
› Chaos, Stress & Snapshots
My Friday in snapshots.
● Chaos ● Stress ● Meetings ●
Enjoy a few pictures from today. I’m currently in bed trying to get some sleep. The reason for the short post is that I have a massive migraine.Sorry.
I also made rice water that I had to cool off outside so I can use it tomorrow.
A chair that will get a new life. One of my summer projects.
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› I’m terrified and I Finally Made My Decision
Remember yesterday when I said I would rethink the education?
Yeah. I made my decision today. I’m done.
Today I finally got the papers from my internship that I requested back in May.
And honestly?
I am in complete shock.
The lies.
The accusations.
The way they describe me.
It was terrifying to read. I completely broke down after reading it. Why? Why all this towards me?
I genuinely don’t understand. This isn’t me! Who is this person they describe? It ain’t me!
WHY would I apply for this education if I was actually the kind of person they are trying to make me look like?
Why would I choose to work with children if I was threatening?
I love children. I love teaching them things. I love being playful and childish around them.
So reading all of this honestly made me feel sick.
Later today, I saw one of my old teachers from before this education while I was in town.
And I asked him straight out:
“Have I ever threatened you or anyone?”
“Have I ever mentally abused anyone?”
“Have I ever made anyone scared or uncomfortable?”
He literally started laughing because he thought the questions sounded absurd.
Then he asked me where all of this even came from.
So I explained everything.
The accusations.
The papers.
Everything.
And honestly?
I broke down in front of him.
He kept repeating:
“Emma, you are literally the last person I would describe like that.”
He said I’m kind. That we always have a great bond and that I am nothing like they try to make me look like.
Before I left for the bus he looked at me and said:
“Fuck them. Ignore them.”
But it’s not that easy. This is serious! I’m genuinely scared after reading those papers.
And after today, after reading everything, I realized I can’t go back there again. I’m done.
I can’t.
My head is complete chaos right now.
Shock.
Anger.
Confusion.
Fear.
I know this post is messy, but honestly?
I really needed to get this off my chest somehow. -
› I Thought I Had Made My Decision
I thought I had already made my decision, but now I’m not so sure anymore.
Not the flattered picture of me but this is literally how I feel and look like right now. Chaos in head and a decision that needs to be made.
Yesterday was my last day at school.
And honestly?
It feels wrong.
I really wanted this education.
I already told my teacher that I probably won’t return next semester, even though I only have five months left.
Because of the false accusations and everything that happened during my internship, I most likely won’t pass anyway.
What hurts even more is knowing I probably won’t get another chance to finish it later. The school apparently won’t continue offering this education due to too few applicants.
So this might really be the end.
On my way to the bus after school, a classmate suddenly stopped me.
“Emma, I really don’t think you should drop out.”
We normally don’t even talk much, so hearing that caught me completely off guard.
I explained why I felt like giving up, but she just kept saying:
.“F*ck them. Show them you’re serious about this education and that you won’t take any bullshit.”
It turns out she’s struggling with problems there too.
And honestly?
Now I’m confused all over again.
Because part of me still wants this so badly.
I want to move forward.
I want to continue studying.
I want to become a preschool teacher someday.
But at the same time, this entire situation has mentally drained me.
And because of everything that happened, I still won’t officially qualify to work in preschool after this education anyway.
So now my head feels like complete chaos.
One moment I want to quit.
The next moment I start rethinking everything.
Luckily, I still have about one and a half months before I have to make the final decision.