I Thought I Had Made My Decision
I thought I had already made my decision, but now I’m not so sure anymore.
Not the flattered picture of me but this is literally how I feel and look like right now. Chaos in head and a decision that needs to be made.
Yesterday was my last day at school.
And honestly?
It feels wrong.
I really wanted this education.
I already told my teacher that I probably won’t return next semester, even though I only have five months left.
Because of the false accusations and everything that happened during my internship, I most likely won’t pass anyway.
What hurts even more is knowing I probably won’t get another chance to finish it later. The school apparently won’t continue offering this education due to too few applicants.
So this might really be the end.
On my way to the bus after school, a classmate suddenly stopped me.
“Emma, I really don’t think you should drop out.”
We normally don’t even talk much, so hearing that caught me completely off guard.
I explained why I felt like giving up, but she just kept saying:
.
“F*ck them. Show them you’re serious about this education and that you won’t take any bullshit.”
It turns out she’s struggling with problems there too.
And honestly?
Now I’m confused all over again.
Because part of me still wants this so badly.
I want to move forward.
I want to continue studying.
I want to become a preschool teacher someday.
But at the same time, this entire situation has mentally drained me.
And because of everything that happened, I still won’t officially qualify to work in preschool after this education anyway.
So now my head feels like complete chaos.
One moment I want to quit.
The next moment I start rethinking everything.
Luckily, I still have about one and a half months before I have to make the final decision.
Discover more from The EVERFLOW
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
8 Comments
Yankee Doodle
I’m sorry. That’s a bummer. FWIW, I have a Theology Degree and a Minor in Secondary Ed. I work 2 jobs, one in production, the other is my family business of contracting and whatever else you’ll pay me to do.
I’m sure you’ll find the answer.
☆ E - The Everflow ☆
What is fwiw?
Yankee Doodle
For what it’s worth.
Sorry, lingo. Interwebs lingo.
☆ E - The Everflow ☆
Oh okey. Sorry I didn’t know that.
Yankee Doodle
Nothing to apologise for.
☆ E - The Everflow ☆
Well, I apologize for alot of things. Lol
Yankee Doodle
Touché. Me too.
☆ E - The Everflow ☆
Haha welcome to the always apologizing club