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βΊ 10 Days Later: Still Fighting the Pain After Breaking My Foot
Hey guys!
So sorry that I haven’t been updating EverFlow like I normally do (texts etc. Like this post), but hopefully that will change soon. No… it will change soon! I also apologize for the lack of communication from my side. I see all your comments and love π€ I will answer them as soon as I can! I also want to apologize for not sharing photos yet from my trip but they will come. Be prepared!
How are you guys? Happy new month! (Yeah, I know… we’re already three days into it. π)I hope you’re all doing fantastic. Thriving, growing and, most importantly, being happy!
My main focus lately has actually been my foot and my knee. It hurts so much, but because I’m stubborn I’ve already started walking on my foot again. Do I suffer because of it? Absolutely. Am I supposed to be resting with my foot up? Yep. But is there really time for that? Not really. Housework, mom life… life doesn’t exactly hit the pause button.
Today I have actually challenged myself. Not a small challenge… a big, exhausting one.
Normally it takes me about five minutes to walk to the store and another five minutes back. Today? Twenty minutes each way. Forty minutes in total… and let me tell you, I do not need a gym membership while I’m on these crutches. π That is one thing for sure!
The sweat was definitely sweating, I can assure you. Imagine me jumping around on crutches while E walks at the speed of a cheetah. It was basically Snail vs. Cheetah.
It’s been 10 days now and my foot still hurts. Like I said above… and no, I still haven’t been given any painkillers, no matter how many times I’ve asked.
So to try and ease the pain a little, I bought a pair of compression socks because the area around my toes is getting absolutely destroyed from walking the way I do with the boot.
It actually helped a little… but it also squeezed parts of my foot I didn’t even know existed. π So, of course… more pain. Those socks are TIGHT. Like… “is my blood circulation still working?” tight. I wore one for two days, though. I even fell asleep with it on the first night.
Yep… that’s pretty much my life right now.
I’m just hoping, wishing and praying these next few weeks fly by, because I’m honestly getting pretty tired of being in pain. -
βΊ A quick update
Explanation of Yesterday
So, I wanted to blog all day yesterday, but honestly, I ended up falling asleep a lot. I was so tired.
On Friday, I increased my medication from 2.5 mg to 5 mg, and it made me really ill.
I threw up several times and felt awful afterward β honestly, I felt even worse before I got sick. I couldn’t sleep afterward either. I finally fell asleep around 7 a.m. and woke up at 10:30 a.m.
So I pretty much spent the whole day resting.
Today, I have been shopping (I will show you later π), and the countdown is now at 28 days.
I will make a Weekend Glimpses recap later, but for now, I’m going to try to get some sleep because my stomach is in massive pain again.
I just wanted to jump on here and explain what I meant by yesterday’s blog post.
Much love to you all, and thank you! β€οΈ -
βΊ I’m terrified and I Finally Made My Decision
Remember yesterday when I said I would rethink the education?
Yeah. I made my decision today. Iβm done.
Today I finally got the papers from my internship that I requested back in May.
And honestly?
I am in complete shock.
The lies.
The accusations.
The way they describe me.
It was terrifying to read. I completely broke down after reading it. Why? Why all this towards me?
I genuinely donβt understand. This isn’t me! Who is this person they describe? It ain’t me!
WHY would I apply for this education if I was actually the kind of person they are trying to make me look like?
Why would I choose to work with children if I was threatening?
I love children. I love teaching them things. I love being playful and childish around them.
So reading all of this honestly made me feel sick.
Later today, I saw one of my old teachers from before this education while I was in town.
And I asked him straight out:
βHave I ever threatened you or anyone?β
βHave I ever mentally abused anyone?β
βHave I ever made anyone scared or uncomfortable?β
He literally started laughing because he thought the questions sounded absurd.
Then he asked me where all of this even came from.
So I explained everything.
The accusations.
The papers.
Everything.
And honestly?
I broke down in front of him.
He kept repeating:
βEmma, you are literally the last person I would describe like that.β
He said Iβm kind. That we always have a great bond and thatΒ I am nothing like they try to make me look like.
Before I left for the bus he looked at me and said:
βFuck them. Ignore them.β
But itβs not that easy. This is serious! Iβm genuinely scared after reading those papers.
And after today, after reading everything, I realized I canβt go back there again. I’m done.
I canβt.
My head is complete chaos right now.
Shock.
Anger.
Confusion.
Fear.
I know this post is messy, but honestly?
I really needed to get this off my chest somehow. -
βΊ I Thought I Had Made My Decision
I thought I had already made my decision, but now Iβm not so sure anymore.
Not the flattered picture of me but this is literally how I feel and look like right now. Chaos in head and a decision that needs to be made.
Yesterday was my last day at school.
And honestly?
It feels wrong.
I really wanted this education.
I already told my teacher that I probably wonβt return next semester, even though I only have five months left.
Because of the false accusations and everything that happened during my internship, I most likely wonβt pass anyway.
What hurts even more is knowing I probably wonβt get another chance to finish it later. The school apparently wonβt continue offering this education due to too few applicants.
So this might really be the end.
On my way to the bus after school, a classmate suddenly stopped me.
βEmma, I really donβt think you should drop out.β
We normally donβt even talk much, so hearing that caught me completely off guard.
I explained why I felt like giving up, but she just kept saying:
.βF*ck them. Show them youβre serious about this education and that you wonβt take any bullshit.β
It turns out sheβs struggling with problems there too.
And honestly?
Now Iβm confused all over again.
Because part of me still wants this so badly.
I want to move forward.
I want to continue studying.
I want to become a preschool teacher someday.
But at the same time, this entire situation has mentally drained me.
And because of everything that happened, I still wonβt officially qualify to work in preschool after this education anyway.
So now my head feels like complete chaos.
One moment I want to quit.
The next moment I start rethinking everything.
Luckily, I still have about one and a half months before I have to make the final decision. -
βΊ Currently Running on Stress and Caffeine
Stress, chaos, and an unhealthy amount of caffeine. Oops!
Today’s summary:
β Hospital & meetings
β Phone calls
β Picking up medicine
β Grocery shopping
β Making dinner
β Stress
β Chaos
β Pepsi Max
β Bed and music ~ Warrior Shaman
That’s it.
That’s the Friday.Simple but chaotic.