π· The Goth Mom Chronicles
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βΊ 10 Days Later: Still Fighting the Pain After Breaking My Foot
Hey guys!
So sorry that I haven’t been updating EverFlow like I normally do (texts etc. Like this post), but hopefully that will change soon. No… it will change soon! I also apologize for the lack of communication from my side. I see all your comments and love π€ I will answer them as soon as I can! I also want to apologize for not sharing photos yet from my trip but they will come. Be prepared!
How are you guys? Happy new month! (Yeah, I know… we’re already three days into it. π)I hope you’re all doing fantastic. Thriving, growing and, most importantly, being happy!
My main focus lately has actually been my foot and my knee. It hurts so much, but because I’m stubborn I’ve already started walking on my foot again. Do I suffer because of it? Absolutely. Am I supposed to be resting with my foot up? Yep. But is there really time for that? Not really. Housework, mom life… life doesn’t exactly hit the pause button.
Today I have actually challenged myself. Not a small challenge… a big, exhausting one.
Normally it takes me about five minutes to walk to the store and another five minutes back. Today? Twenty minutes each way. Forty minutes in total… and let me tell you, I do not need a gym membership while I’m on these crutches. π That is one thing for sure!
The sweat was definitely sweating, I can assure you. Imagine me jumping around on crutches while E walks at the speed of a cheetah. It was basically Snail vs. Cheetah.
It’s been 10 days now and my foot still hurts. Like I said above… and no, I still haven’t been given any painkillers, no matter how many times I’ve asked.
So to try and ease the pain a little, I bought a pair of compression socks because the area around my toes is getting absolutely destroyed from walking the way I do with the boot.
It actually helped a little… but it also squeezed parts of my foot I didn’t even know existed. π So, of course… more pain. Those socks are TIGHT. Like… “is my blood circulation still working?” tight. I wore one for two days, though. I even fell asleep with it on the first night.
Yep… that’s pretty much my life right now.
I’m just hoping, wishing and praying these next few weeks fly by, because I’m honestly getting pretty tired of being in pain. -
βΊ What I Wish I Knew During My Darkest Depression
Have you ever had the thought, βIf I could go back in time, what would I tell my younger self?β
For me⦠honestly, this post will be 1000% raw and authentic. The truth will be told here.
β οΈ Warning: mentions ofsuicide and self-harm β οΈ
If Iβm being honest, I wish I could go back to the time when I was at my deepest depression β when I harmed myself badly, wrote goodbye letters to my mum, and tried so many times to end my life.
I wish I could go back in time and tell my mum not to worry β that I wouldnβt do it. Back when I slept with kitchen knives (not the ones you eat with) under my pillow.
Depression made me awful to my mum. Me harming myself hurt her deeply. I was awful to my siblings too, who dropped everything the second they noticed I was gone. My brother drove back and forth looking for me. My siblings ran around calling my name, trying to find me, terrorized by the calls and the fear of not knowing where I was.
If I could turn back time and know what I know today, I would have stopped.
I would have told younger Emma (yes, thatβs my name, but I go by Mii):
Donβt do it. Itβs not worth it. You will have your own family one day. You need to stay strong so you can be there for them β and for mum when she gets older.
Or maybe just a few simple words:
Itβs not worth it.
Sorry for such a deep conversation, but I wanted you to know a little bit of my background before sharing what I would have said to my younger self.What would you have told your younger self?
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βΊ Last-Minute Shopping in Sofia Before My Day Trip to NiΕ‘, Serbia
Good evening from Sofia, Bulgaria!
I hope you’re all doing well! Me, on the other hand, am melting away in this heat. π₯΅
I went shopping today. I bought an ugly and I mean UGLY Nike backpack to use tomorrow and on Wednesday. Yes, I actually planned ahead for once. π My son will be using it for school afterwards, so it’s not just for these two trips.
Today’s shopping (God, I’ve been shopping so much while I’ve been here. I’ll make a full list later… if I can remember everything.)
β Backpack
β Sports drinks
β Salted chips
β Pepsi Max
I’ve already packed my backpack for tomorrow since I’m trying to stay awake all night so I don’t miss the subway to the bus station. My bus to NiΕ‘, Serbia leaves at 7:30 a.m. π΅βπ«
Nope… I still haven’t slept.
β Extra clothes
β Drinks
β Chips
β Passport
β Medicines
β Extra bag
β Electronics
β€ Camera battery charger
β€ Phone charger
β€ Two power banks
β€ Extra camera batteries
β€ Camera
β€ Two lenses
β One pair of shoes
β Hand sanitizer
β Wipes
That’s pretty much it. I’ve probably forgotten something, but right now I’m lying in bed trying to get some rest. I’ve set 15 alarms, so hopefully I’ll actually wake up and get my ass to the subway in time.
These two day trips are just the tip of the iceberg. I’ll finally be able to cross a few things off my bucket list. Even if it’s only for a few hours, I’m still visiting three countries in two weeks. That’s a lot for me, and I’m beyond excited!
On another note…
My vacation is coming to an end, and that makes me feel a little bit of everything.
I’m sad because the time has gone by so fast, but I’m also happy because I’ll finally get to kiss my baby boy and give him the biggest hug. β€οΈ -
βΊ ADHD Chaos: I Accidentally Booked Two Day Trips
β¨οΈ Whoopsii β¨οΈ
MORE ADHD CHAOS!
And trust me, this is even worse than the purple hair dye!
It’s currently 5 a.m. here in Bulgaria, and I just had a crazy idea. Since I was bored, I opened Google to see if I could visit another country bordering Bulgaria while I’m here in Sofia.Being bored & having ADHD is clearly a dangerous combination π
OOPS!.. I DID SOMETHING!
Adventure time!
Two Day trips within three days.
Two different countries!
Pinch me!
Monday (20th) β NiΕ‘, Serbia π·πΈ
Wednesday (22nd) β Skopje, North Macedonia π²π°AAH! I AM SO EXCITED!!
The buses leave ridiculously early both times, but hey… I managed to stay awake when I travelled to Bulgaria, so I don’t think it’ll be a problem.
Guys… a day trip to another country? Twice?!
I’m beyond excited, but I’m also in complete shock. I knew it was possible to visit another country within a few hours, but this? This is absolutely ridiculous!
Before I fly home to Sweden on the 24th, I’ll have visited two more countries.
So this vacation will officially look like this:
Sweden β Bulgaria β Serbia β Bulgaria β North Macedonia β Bulgaria β Sweden
How crazy is that?
Funny little fact: I was actually planning to spend my vacation in Skopje, North Macedonia, but at the very last minute I changed my mind and booked Sofia instead.
Looks like I’m getting to visit Skopje after all!Well… I guess my ADHD brain planned the rest of my vacation. I got bored in Bulgaria and somehow end up booking day trips to two different countries. Let’s see if this turns out to be the best idea I’ve ever had… or the worst. π Who knows? It might be the best part of the trip.
But honestly, sometimes, having ADHD can be both a blessing but also a curse. At this moment, its a mix of both. A blessing because it came up with these ideas and curse because it made me purchase the tickets.
Life with β¨οΈ ADHD β¨οΈ is wonderful.. sometimes.
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βΊ My Happy Songs for Today | The Music That Puts Me in a Good Mood
Which songs always put you in a good mood?
When i was waiting on the bus to go to the town for a meeting, I reflected on one thing.. Some days, music makes me happy and honestly, i have MANY songs but today these songs makes me happy (I’m switching music as well and not playing same songs all the time)
Here are a few of the happy songs I’m currently listening to
π΅ AronChupa & Little Sis Nora β Llama in My Living Room
π΅ PSY β Gangnam Style
π΅ Lvbel C5 & AKDO β Coook Pardon (I have no idea what they’re singing about, but it’s incredibly uplifting!)
π΅ Lvbel C5 β HAVHAVHAV (Still no clue what the lyrics mean… but the music is so good.)
π΅ Russell Brand ft. Catherine Zeta-Jones β We Built This City / We’re Not Gonna Take It (from one of my favourite movies, Rock of Ages!)
π΅ HammerFall β Hearts on Fire
π΅ Lordi β HardRock Hallelujah
These are just a few songs that make me happy, especially today.
My mental health is actually doing okay today, so I’m trying to keep that feeling going with some music. I rarely listen to music anymore, but today felt like the right day to press play.
I may be goth, but my music taste is all over the place. π The only genres I really can’t listen to are classical and jazz… they just make me anxious for some reason and makes me stressed.
What songs instantly make you happy? I’d love some recommendations!