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› Finding My Old Blog After 9 Years | Memories, Old Photos & Who I Used to Be
Looking back at an old blog from 2017, old selfies, forgotten memories, family, grief, growing older and the person I used to be..
Having a best friend who stalks my old blog — okay, not stalks, but checks it from time to time — is actually hilarious.
I had completely forgotten about it. Not the blog itself, but the name of it! Until she sent me the link.
Oh my god.
I wrote on that blog last time on December 1, 2017. That is almost 9 years ago.
Going through the posts, seeing the pictures and reading a bit was a roller-coaster of emotions. Sometimes I laughed and sometimes I fought not to shed tears.
Reading about when I was learning Arabic, dealing with my mom’s cancer, my dad’s death and so much more… it really brought back a lot.
One thing I found absolutely hilarious was all the old photos of myself. WAOW! Holy… I don’t even know — cheese? 👀
Oh well. I was NOT ready for it.
I had completely forgotten about my “signature” selfie style. The makeup. The poses. Oh lord, how embarrassing!
Mind you, that blog had over 150 subscribers/followers that I called “ghosts” because I was obsessed with Halloween back then and I’m still obsessed with Halloween now. 😂
So at least 150 people saw those photos. I eventually closed down that blog because there was a lot going on in my personal life. I had no energy. Nothing to write about that felt worth writing about.
Not that EverFlow is much better…Haha!
These are a few of the pictures I found of myself on that blog and I am laughing so hard at myself.
Like… wow. How?!
My best friend said I looked older back then and I’m like: “Excuse me?” She said I should take it as a compliment that I look “younger” now.
She’s weird… I know. 😂Anyway, have fun.
Enjoy these 9 horrible photos of me from when I was 26–27 years old. Yup. i was almost 30 and walked around looking like that. I’m turning 36 now and barely wear makeup anymore.
What a journey and roller-coaster of thoughts, feelings etc 😂🖤 -
› How ADHD Affects the Way I Communicate and Hold Conversations
Having conversations with ADHD can feel chaotic, fast, and unpredictable. My brain can jump between topics within seconds—unless the conversation goes deep, where hyperfocus often takes over instead.
Honestly, anything — except politics, racism, war, etc.
It actually depends on how the conversation flows between me and the other person. If it were only about me talking about something, I probably wouldn’t be able to decide what to talk about once my ADHD brain kicks in, because I can go from one subject to another within 0.2 seconds.
So me keeping track of a conversation I started would be almost impossible — unless it’s a deep conversation. Then my ADHD behaves.
But random talks? Oh wow.
I can go from SparkleFart the unicorn to FartStripes to completely made-up things.
Haha, I’ll explain SparkleFart and FartStripes.
I used to play a game called Whiteout Survival, and there was a pack you could buy that included a unicorn used when marching to attack.
She sparkled when she marched, so that’s where “Sparkle” came from — but it also looked like she was farting sparkles, so that’s how I came up with SparkleFart.
FartStripe was the name I gave a yucca palm. Don’t ask me why. I honestly have no idea.
FartStripe is FartRanden in Swedish, so FartRanden translates to FartStripe.
That’s the story behind those two names.
So yeah, having a conversation with me would never be boring for you. -
› What I Wish I Knew During My Darkest Depression
Have you ever had the thought, “If I could go back in time, what would I tell my younger self?”
For me… honestly, this post will be 1000% raw and authentic. The truth will be told here.
⚠️ Warning: mentions ofsuicide and self-harm ⚠️
If I’m being honest, I wish I could go back to the time when I was at my deepest depression — when I harmed myself badly, wrote goodbye letters to my mum, and tried so many times to end my life.
I wish I could go back in time and tell my mum not to worry — that I wouldn’t do it. Back when I slept with kitchen knives (not the ones you eat with) under my pillow.
Depression made me awful to my mum. Me harming myself hurt her deeply. I was awful to my siblings too, who dropped everything the second they noticed I was gone. My brother drove back and forth looking for me. My siblings ran around calling my name, trying to find me, terrorized by the calls and the fear of not knowing where I was.
If I could turn back time and know what I know today, I would have stopped.
I would have told younger Emma (yes, that’s my name, but I go by Mii):
Don’t do it. It’s not worth it. You will have your own family one day. You need to stay strong so you can be there for them — and for mum when she gets older.
Or maybe just a few simple words:
It’s not worth it.
Sorry for such a deep conversation, but I wanted you to know a little bit of my background before sharing what I would have said to my younger self.What would you have told your younger self?
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› When Self-Care Turns Into Self-Reflection
Pull Up a Chair · A personal reflections on perfectionism, self-care and learning to let things grow naturally 🖤
Normally Sunday is a home-spa night for me but I had to do it now – Tuesday. You know, cleansing, scrubs, masks etc. The whole shebang.
After these two intense days of trying to make everything perfect for EverFlow, I realized I had become too obsessed with perfection and had to force myself to stop — which was a massive struggle for me.
I will let this house stand on its own foundation, and we can decorate it together over time.
Yes, I have changed my focus for EverFlow. It is no longer just a place for me to share, but a home with room for others too.
I have created a new category with a few subcategories that I will introduce later, when the time feels right. What I can say for now is that it feels more inviting… and it makes this space feel less like “me, me, me” all the time. I have been feeling that for a while now, so I decided to change directions.
EverFlow will always be my home — my place to write, vent and share life as it flows. But I also want this home to feel welcoming, like a place where you can sit down, stay awhile and feel like part of something.
I hope you all understand what I mean.
Funny how a simple spa night turned into this realization…