🕷 The Goth Mom Chronicles
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› Tell my 20 year old self
What is something you wish you could tell your 20-year-old self?
Don’t do it.
3 simple words.
Not worth it.
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› Our Son Had His Own Graduation
Today is not a regular day because today it was my son’s end-of-the-school year celebration.
Swedish flag in the wind.
We went to his school to see the “graduation”. Was waiting for them to come walking and start the singing..until a mother or if it was an assistant or teacher, came up to me “Are you E’s mom?” I answered yes and she told me that my son’s class was having their singing somewhere else.
I got very irritated to be honest, because this has made us miss 10 minutes of his singing. I told M where they were so we went there.
None of us had gotten the information about this. We thought they were gonna celebrate at their regular location, no they had changed location!
So unfortunately we missed 10 minutes but we attended for the rest. Unfortunately we had to hide (mostly me) because E would have left the classes and their performance to run up to me. I saw a little bit of it.
He was so good! He attended the whole performance with the class. Sure, when they were was switching songs (the teachers use signs and signlanguage to show and tell which song was next) we heard E sing randomly “Keep going but be supersneaky” < another type of Baby Shark and so many other songs. I laughed.Our son had his own graduation.
It was wonderful to see and hear him participate in every event.
I love E and how funny he is. Parents were laughing as well. Imagine, all quiet location, before sign languages etc and speak started, all you could hear was my son singing baby shark.●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●
Car selfie. *filter* After the graduation of our son, M and I left (E was gonna stay in school to have an end-of-school year with his class), we decided to go to the foodstore. Todays dinner; Indian food and rice.
Snapshots of today
Random silhouette 
To my son “You are the best!” 
Meat, bananas and leverpastej 
CARSELFIE -
› The Hug I Really Needed
I Went Into Town Angry and Came Home Almost Crying
Am I losing it? My mind?
I made the decision to not continue school because of everything that happened. I told the teacher. I told my classmates. And still, she sends out the next semester schedule and information about what books we need.
Like… why?
So now it has me thinking. Even though it would be a financial struggle for me, maybe I should continue after all.
Why?
Well… partly because I honestly want to piss the teacher and principal off. Yes, I am petty. I know that. But after everything they put me through, can you really blame me?
But there is another reason too.
If I do not have school or a job and I am home during after-school hours, my son will lose his after-school care placement even though he genuinely needs it for his social development, routines, and support.
So I am stuck in a really difficult situation right now.
Because the truth is: I *do* want this education. You all know that. But at the same time, the principal, the internship, and the teacher completely killed my sparkle for it.
And honestly? Staying home all day would probably mess up my head too.
Speaking of the internship…
Today when I went into town for a meeting, I got the biggest hug.
I was walking between the coffee shop windows and the small bus station when I suddenly heard knocking on the glass. So I turned around and there she was — a mom I used to work with — smiling and pointing toward a child inside the café.
The SECOND that little girl saw me, she started jumping up and down.
I rushed inside immediately.
And oh my God 😭
The second I got through the doors, she came RUNNING toward me so fast that I barely had time to lean down before she literally flew up onto me and wrapped herself around me like a tiny octopus.
She did NOT want to let go.
I have not seen her since my internship ended, so seeing her again honestly hit me right in the heart.
Then her mom told me something that almost made me cry right there in the café.
Apparently, this little girl asks almost every single day:
“Where is Emma? Is Emma coming?”
That completely broke my heart.
So I explained to her mom what actually happened during my internship and how I had been treated. Let us just say… she got MAD. Like genuinely angry on my behalf.
Meanwhile, my little octopus was still clinging onto me 😭
Unfortunately, we eventually had to separate because I had a meeting to get to and she was there with her mom and friends.
But wow…
I really needed that hug more than I realized.
Me and this child connected instantly from my very first day there (not the child connected to the accusations before anyone starts wondering), and seeing her again honestly made me remember why I loved this in the first place.
A small hug really can make the world feel softer sometimes.
And today, I really needed that softness.So this had me thinking as well.
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› It’s Secured & There’s No Risk of Running Out!
It’s secured. No risk of me going without it. It was expensive, but it was on sale — half price compared to its normal price.
Hey guys! I hope you are all doing well today! I have not said that in a long time. I’M SORRY!! How are you? How have you been? Any news you want to share? Talk to me 🥰 Let’s have a conversation in the comments!
It’s a cardigan I tied around my bag
Now to the post — and you are probably wondering what I mean by the title.
Well, first things first: I did not go to the BS event the teacher sent an invitation to. Nope.
Second: the Pepsi Max is secured 🙌🏼
Yes, I went into town just to buy Pepsi Max, and then I remembered that my son had been pointing at chips in the advertisement papers, so I bought those too. I also picked up my new obsession (well… not new, but new for this use): vanilla protein drinks that I have started using in my smoothies alongside the powder and oh my God… game changer 🙌🏼
It’s moments like this I wish I had a car 😅 Let me tell you, this was heavy! But it was secured! So getting home was a challenge. Sun high up in sky, massive head, a bag on wheels, backpack and a shopping bag with all the Pepsi Max plus the other. Heavy!
Sadly, I still had to go to the grocery store after I got home and dropped the Pepsi Max off because I needed to buy dinner and breakfast stuff.
Today I spent around $70 😵💫 Mostly on soda, but it is fine. They do not have this sale very often, so whenever they do… I attack the packages 😂
Well, not literally. But you get it.Todays dinner; my own chicken buttermasala and rice. Plus veggies ofcourse.
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› I’m terrified and I Finally Made My Decision
Remember yesterday when I said I would rethink the education?
Yeah. I made my decision today. I’m done.
Today I finally got the papers from my internship that I requested back in May.
And honestly?
I am in complete shock.
The lies.
The accusations.
The way they describe me.
It was terrifying to read. I completely broke down after reading it. Why? Why all this towards me?
I genuinely don’t understand. This isn’t me! Who is this person they describe? It ain’t me!
WHY would I apply for this education if I was actually the kind of person they are trying to make me look like?
Why would I choose to work with children if I was threatening?
I love children. I love teaching them things. I love being playful and childish around them.
So reading all of this honestly made me feel sick.
Later today, I saw one of my old teachers from before this education while I was in town.
And I asked him straight out:
“Have I ever threatened you or anyone?”
“Have I ever mentally abused anyone?”
“Have I ever made anyone scared or uncomfortable?”
He literally started laughing because he thought the questions sounded absurd.
Then he asked me where all of this even came from.
So I explained everything.
The accusations.
The papers.
Everything.
And honestly?
I broke down in front of him.
He kept repeating:
“Emma, you are literally the last person I would describe like that.”
He said I’m kind. That we always have a great bond and that I am nothing like they try to make me look like.
Before I left for the bus he looked at me and said:
“Fuck them. Ignore them.”
But it’s not that easy. This is serious! I’m genuinely scared after reading those papers.
And after today, after reading everything, I realized I can’t go back there again. I’m done.
I can’t.
My head is complete chaos right now.
Shock.
Anger.
Confusion.
Fear.
I know this post is messy, but honestly?
I really needed to get this off my chest somehow.