• › Weekend Recap: Motherhood, Chaos, Pizza & Small Happy Moments

    Welcome to this weekend recap where I’m sharing a few small happy moments from a chaotic weekend filled with motherhood, pizza, and everyday life.

    Hello my beautiful flowers ✨️ I hope you all had a wonderful weekend! Did you do anything special this weekend? I would love to know.

    My weekend has been… chaotic. For real…
    My son has had a hard time regulating his emotions and even broke his bed, so it has definitely been a wild ride this weekend. Read some about it here – People Stare, I Explode — A Raw Autism Parenting Moment

    A few glimpses worth mentioning: we ate ice cream, had pizza for dinner {read this post here — Italians probably dislike me}, and while I didn’t actually need to do laundry, I took E down to the laundry room so he could sit and watch the machines go to help distract him from his strong emotions.

    I’ve also been “working” all day making banners, labels, organizing the home (EverFlow), and trying to make it feel more open and welcoming for everyone.

    And by all day, I mean during the moments when E has been calm for a little while. We have cuddled and played as well, but from time to time a mom needs a break — at least this momma does. 

    Pepsi Max, design, and quietly observing the situation, you all know the drill ~ Pepsi Max is my life elixir 💀

    I’ll reply to your comments once E has fallen asleep. Sorry for not being very active with that over the past few days.



  • › How I Stepped Out of My Comfort Zone Despite Body Insecurities

    Stepping out of my comfort zone while struggling with body insecurities felt terrifying, but after 30+ hours awake, six bus rides, and a full day of parenting, I still challenged myself to do something scary.

    Even with zero sleep, I still did something my son loves — riding the bus.

    We went into town to buy my Propud for smoothies, berries, and other essentials, but also to help E practice his social skills.

    Two stores, heavy backpacks, and significantly poorer later…

    We came home with a toy for E, candy, Pepsi Max (yup, of course), six protein shakes for my smoothies, frozen mangoes and raspberries, a bag of chips, ice cream, bananas, nicotine pouches, on-the-go yogurt, an energy drink, and a can of Pepsi Max.



    Let me count…

    1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6.

    Six bus rides in just two hours.

    That’s honestly insane.

    At the same time, I challenged myself by stepping way out of my comfort zone — which felt terrifying.



    How?

    I tied up my shirt so it became a cropped top, meaning I showed a bit of my stomach (see pictures), and I also went out wearing lace leggings.

    I never show my stomach, so that alone was huge for me.

    Funny enough, the leggings were actually too big for me, which is a pretty massive result of my ongoing weight loss journey — WOHO!

    That gives me even more motivation to keep going and reach my goal.

    At least E was happy, and I didn’t crash, so I’ll call that a win 🙌🏼

    I can honestly say I’m pretty impressed that even after 30+ hours with zero sleep… I was still up and walking.



  • › 32 Hours Awake: Sleep Deprivation, Parenting & Pure Survival Mode

    32+ hours awake, one overenergized child, zero brain cells, and caffeine as a personality trait. Welcome to survival mode. 😄🖤💀

    Guess what? I still haven’t gotten any sleep.

    It’s currently 5 PM, and I can honestly say: I A M D E A D.
    Not literally, but you get what I mean.

    My son is still all over the place, full of energy, and I’m honestly jealous. If I had even one percent of his energy, I’d be happy.

    Headache ✅
    Sound sensitive ✅
    Light sensitive ✅

    I was hoping I’d at least get a nap during the day, but with my luck… I doubt it.

    I need to keep E awake for the rest of the day, otherwise I’ll probably have another night like this, and my body and mental health honestly can’t handle that.

    So here we go 😵‍💫 A few more hours to survive.

    I’m praying he sleeps tonight because I have a super important meeting tomorrow that I absolutely need to attend.

    I’ve officially been awake for 32 hours and 30 minutes… and I definitely feel it.

    How’s your day?



  • › Our Son Had His Own Graduation

    Today is not a regular day because today it was my son’s end-of-the-school year celebration.

    Swedish celebration - skolavslutning
    Swedish flag in the wind.



    We went to his school to see the “graduation”. Was waiting for them to come walking and start the singing..until a mother or if it was an assistant or teacher, came up to me “Are you E’s mom?” I answered yes and she told me that my son’s class was having their singing somewhere else.

    I got very irritated to be honest, because this has made us miss 10 minutes of his singing. I told M where they were so we went there.

    None of us had gotten the information about this. We thought they were gonna celebrate at their regular location, no they had changed location!

    So unfortunately we missed 10 minutes but we attended for the rest. Unfortunately we had to hide (mostly me) because E would have left the classes and their performance to run up to me. I saw a little bit of it.

    He was so good! He attended the whole performance with the class. Sure, when they were was switching songs (the teachers use signs and signlanguage to show and tell which song was next) we heard E sing randomly “Keep going but be supersneaky” < another type of Baby Shark and so many other songs. I laughed.

    Our son had his own graduation.

    It was wonderful to see and hear him participate in every event.

    I love E and how funny he is. Parents were laughing as well. Imagine, all quiet location, before sign languages etc and speak started, all you could hear was my son singing baby shark.

    ●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

    Car selfie of an adhd mom
    Car selfie. *filter*

    After the graduation of our son, M and I left (E was gonna stay in school to have an end-of-school year with his class), we decided to go to the foodstore. Todays dinner; Indian food and rice.

    Snapshots of today



  • › The Hug I Really Needed

    I Went Into Town Angry and Came Home Almost Crying

    Am I losing it? My mind?

    I made the decision to not continue school because of everything that happened. I told the teacher. I told my classmates. And still, she sends out the next semester schedule and information about what books we need.

    Like… why?

    So now it has me thinking. Even though it would be a financial struggle for me, maybe I should continue after all.

    Why?

    Well… partly because I honestly want to piss the teacher and principal off. Yes, I am petty. I know that. But after everything they put me through, can you really blame me?

    But there is another reason too.

    If I do not have school or a job and I am home during after-school hours, my son will lose his after-school care placement even though he genuinely needs it for his social development, routines, and support.

    So I am stuck in a really difficult situation right now.

    Because the truth is: I *do* want this education. You all know that. But at the same time, the principal, the internship, and the teacher completely killed my sparkle for it.

    And honestly? Staying home all day would probably mess up my head too.

    Speaking of the internship…

    Today when I went into town for a meeting, I got the biggest hug.

    I was walking between the coffee shop windows and the small bus station when I suddenly heard knocking on the glass. So I turned around and there she was — a mom I used to work with — smiling and pointing toward a child inside the café.

    The SECOND that little girl saw me, she started jumping up and down.

    I rushed inside immediately.

    And oh my God 😭

    The second I got through the doors, she came RUNNING toward me so fast that I barely had time to lean down before she literally flew up onto me and wrapped herself around me like a tiny octopus.

    She did NOT want to let go.

    I have not seen her since my internship ended, so seeing her again honestly hit me right in the heart.

    Then her mom told me something that almost made me cry right there in the café.

    Apparently, this little girl asks almost every single day:
    “Where is Emma? Is Emma coming?”

    That completely broke my heart.

    So I explained to her mom what actually happened during my internship and how I had been treated. Let us just say… she got MAD. Like genuinely angry on my behalf.

    Meanwhile, my little octopus was still clinging onto me 😭

    Unfortunately, we eventually had to separate because I had a meeting to get to and she was there with her mom and friends.

    But wow…

    I really needed that hug more than I realized.

    Me and this child connected instantly from my very first day there (not the child connected to the accusations before anyone starts wondering), and seeing her again honestly made me remember why I loved this in the first place.

    A small hug really can make the world feel softer sometimes.

    And today, I really needed that softness.

    So this had me thinking as well.