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› I’m terrified, scared, and so lost!
Good afternoon, my beautiful and amazing people! I hope you all have a wonderful Monday, and good luck in school, at work, or in whatever activity you have this week!
While in school, I get a message on Messenger from M, who tells me that on the news they say that there has been a cyberattack towards many hotels in Italy. Yeah, that sounds… lovely! And due to the fact that I am in school, I haven’t seen it, so she sent a screen recording. NOW I’M SCARED! I called the police and asked what I could do! Unfortunately, they couldn’t do anything or give me suggestions. 🥴So I called to Italy to the hotel I stayed at and asked them. Of course they said they are 100% protected, but we all know no one is 100% safe. So I have to keep an eye on my bank, etc. So pray for me!
I honestly don’t know what to do! To calm myself down. I’m scared and terrified!
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Today we had to discuss a children book. We were supposed to have one with us but I forgot mine so thank god there is a library at the school. I went there and borrowed one.
We had to think as a teacher who read for a preschool child. It was honestly hard! Not the reading part but to ask the questions to keep the children involved in discussions. Superhard! We also had to pick out words that we thought the children would ask for etc. Oh god.
But hey, I participated and I did the assignments 🙌🏻 so now when I come home, I will study. I must read and do assignments til next time. 50 pages and long essay 🥴 oh wow.
How are you all!? Please don’t be afraid of talking to me. I don’t bite. I promise 🤭
It’s kind of interesting and repetitive for me in this class because I have done it earlier, and I use this all the time at home, but let’s go.
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› We Went Into the Woods – And Things Got Weird
I know I didn’t blog yesterday. I am so sorry! It was chaotic at home, but today I will blog.
Hi, hello, my beautiful people! I hope everything to fine with you all!
I have just come home from school (well, kind of; an hour ago), so I’m currently in the bath writing this.
Today in school, the classmates, two teachers, and I have been to the forest. Just because we are studying to be the pre-step preschool teacher, we had to go to the forest today. Just because the teachers go to the forest with children sometimes.
What did we do? We went on a walk and answered questions. Well, you talked with your mate you were paired with about them. Some questions were kind of weird, and I and AK (the classmate) pretty much didn’t know what to answer on some of them. One question was, “Have you been dead and had experience? What do you remember?” Like, how would I know that?
Such a weird question. Oh well, after that walk, the teachers spoke about Buddhism and how they do mandalas, blow them out after prayers, etc. So we had a mission to make our mandalas.Odd, but we did it. I took pictures, but I don’t think people want me to share that, but it’s all good.
After that we had a bit of lunch and talked, and I and S joked with one of our teachers (L). She drank water out of a syrup bottle, and I told S earlier for fun, “She drinks out of a syrup bottle. I bet it’s white syrup,” and I was right! Crazy!
Anyway, the jokes we did with the teacher (she joined in on the jokes) and said that we think it’s something else (vodka), and L laughed and said yes. So we continued and said it was mixed with some water so she wouldn’t get exposed. We all laughed.
So me and S went on with the bottle and L told us some funny stories etc. It was actually a fun moment in the forest (even though I complained a lot! Haha! I dislike being in the forest due to all the bugs etc)
After lunch we had an other activity (we did four activities in total during this class) and that was to paint, either something with forest related or feelings. I tried to make a sunset but that one failed extremely hard. I’m better to paint with pens than watercolors.
Fun part… or maybe not so funny, but S and AK were fine with it. I did some color splatter on my painting, and it accidentally came on AK’s bag and S’s shoes. I apologized so much when we saw it. I was so embarrassed. I even splattered paint on myself, my bag and the bench we sat on. Atleast I participated. Lol!
I had already told my teachers and classmates that I’m a photographer and a blogger, so they had to be prepared that I would take photos. I did. A few. Lol.
I’m not sharing all, just some. Click on the picture to see bigger/full size.
About my fingers (I will explain better in another post): my son has pulled my fingers so much when wanting to show me things or get me to follow him, so I have started to get problems with my fingers. Therefore, the sports tape on them keeps them “straight” and helps with the pain.
The bag in the last picture actually has a text on it, but I removed it due to it not being a kind text. No, I don’t have the text out towards people when I walk with it.
Yes, I have permission to share pictures of my classmates when we had the painting activity. I asked and told them I would cover their faces. They were okay with that except one student. which I respect, so she’s not in any pictures.
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› Choose your battles.
Good morning, my beautiful people! I hope you all are doing well. I’m currently back home. Was supposed to get E to school, but he had tantrums outside, so he woke the neighbors, so they were looking through their blinds.
I finally managed to get us back home (tantrum for 40 minutes outside with no luck), so today he will be home from school. With lack of sleep and this morning, I can honestly say, I am tired.
Yes, I am keeping my life in the blog raw and authentic. I’m not going to sugarcoat the reality. I’m sharing my life because I know I have other autistic families who read the blog, and we know the struggles sometimes. Some days are good, and some days are a bit of a struggle. It’s the reality of a family with a person who has special needs.
So today will be a day to stay home. This has started to happen daily now, so I have notified the school what’s going on and that we will be at school when the situation is calm and better. They are ok with that. Sadly, today will be a stay-at-home day.
So this was my morning. How is your morning?
Choose your battles.
~ Unknown
No, I do not have pictures of the situation and what happened. My focus is to calm the situation, and taking photos/videos during a breakdown is nothing I do.
Reason for this morning’s meltdown: bus.My son loves busses and these mornings for the past few days has been very difficult. He wants to go for a ride in the buses, but we don’t need to take the bus to the school. The situation escalates every time, but what can I do? All I can do is handle the situations by remaining calm, try to calm down the situations, and keep my son safe.
“Autism doesn’t come with an instruction guide. It comes with a family who will never give up.”
~ Kerry Magro
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› They Arrived! My Head’s Spinning With Thoughts
one step closer to my new career. I’m excited but terrified on the same time.
After 11th August it will come up school posts. My daily life, lifestyle. I hope you all are excited and ok with following my journey to become a preschool teacher with specialized for diagnosis.
They arrived with Early Bird which means they come really fast in the mail. To my surprise, the books came within two days. That’s crazy fast!
I got a notification on my phone that it was delivered and my heart took an extra skip. Now it feels kinda official that I will be one step closer.
I am scared though. Will I be able to manage to understand the academic words? Sure it’s not as hard as University level of my future school but after been scanning /looking through them fast, my brain stopped working.
I will have more courses during this education but these are the first three books I’ll use for the first semester. According to the schedule, there will be two more different classes per week but no books to them? I am so confused about that.
As you all can read, I have mixed feelings about this career choice. I really want this but I am terrified… of failing, of the school, of the classmates, teachers etc. How will it go? So many thoughts, feelings etc that I need to sort out and try find the motivation and the encouragement that I’m getting closer to the job I really want.
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› New education and truth to be told, It’s really scary
Hello my loves! today has been a hectic day on the blog and real life. It just occurred to me that I start in school in 1O days! What!?
This time I am actually super nervous and scared. Just like when I did my nurse assistant education. This education is at the same school that I hate and where I did the N A E. My former high-school. I have so many bad bad memories from there.
I’m nervous due to new class, new teachers and my size in a school with 3K kids. Yes iam preparing mentally for bullying I just have to get used to it. Hard, yes but I must.
School supplies I need to buy; There is alot! Notebooks, pencils, rubbers, books, etc. Ohmy. Books is ordered for this semester though. But not for the other two but one step at the time.
I have totally forgotten what is needed when studying! Except when I did math, but now iam going back to a big school . Which bag? backpack? hand bag? shoulder bag? Style? dye my hair before that? makeup? Entry access card?
So much to think off! For fun I checked on Shein (no im not ordering there, just browsing to get ideas of what I need to buy) and I found a cute pencil case, bags etc but we all know how Shein is. I used to love them but not now after truth has come out.
What education am I doing this time? This time I am not gonna study so my grades gets better. I’m actually gonna study so I take one step closer to the education preschool teacher. I dont really know how to translate the education from Swedish to english other then I use google translator and that translation sounded so weird.. but (according to Google translator) Childcare training with focus on disabilities. .. sounds so weird. On swedish it’s Barnskötare med specialisering funktionsnedsättning.
When I’m done with this education I can work in preschool with special need kids. Student assistant to someone who needs extra help etc. I am so excited about that part.
How did I come up with this idea to become this? Well, I love teaching stuff. I hate standing infront of a whole class though but teaching one on one is no problem. Also I get a chance to learn more about my son’s diagnosis, what to do, how to communicate etc. So its a winwin for me.
Why the career change? honestly, the N.A.E was a promise to my mother before she passed. I have always struggled with what I actually wanted to work with in life. Even though I love taking care of elderly people, I have seen so much that has made me change my mind. It has given me some sort of trauma (not the elderly but the staff and no matter how much you tell the boss, nothing happens) so I decided to stop work at the hospital, senior homes etc.
With this, I can actually help and teach children. Be their helping hand on the same time as I get to learn more professionally about diagnoses etc.
Excited, nervous, terrified and happy. Mixed feelings about this but I think its because the education is held at my former high school.
Hopefully these feelings and thoughts will pass as soon as I start in school and gotten to know the people.